Missing Him

Assalamualaikum.

Salam Eid Adha to all muslims. May this celebration bring happiness and barakath to all of us. Just want to warn you all to skip my page if you don't want to read soppy story because apparently this going to be one today.

9 years ago today, I lost my beloved father and part of myself that I always wish I am asleep for the whole September. I was born on September and I lost someone I love dearly on the same month. How ironic is that? Green Day's song "wake me up when September end" define my feeling well (*sighed).

People said the every wound will heal over time and yes, it will heal but it will leave a scar that will remind you a deep wound existed there before and you'll remember the pain you been thru. It will stop bleeding and the pain will subside slowly over time yet the memories will remain, forever stamped deep inside you mind and heart that will automatically replay with certain button.

Since 2006, 24th September will automatically remind me of what I lost on that day. It remind me of the pain I have thru since that day. It remind that he is no longer there at home waiting for me with his smile, he is no longer at the other side of the phone to listen to my whining and complaint of life, he is no longer there to back me up against those who hate me and importantly he is no longer there to advise and admonish me to stand up and fight back when I stumble and fall down in my life.

On this day I allowed myself to re-live the memories with him and then cry over it so that I will wake up the next day and days after with determination to make him proud of me.

Rest in peace bapa. I might be not as successful as others but I will try to become a better person, a good daughter, a good mother, a good wife and make you proud because I believe you are watching from above.

My 33th Birthday

Alhamdulillah, 33 years and Allah still give me the chance to breath, to witness His magnificent creation and importantly to give me the chance to become a better person. In my 33 years, I been thru lots of good, bad, sweet, sour, bitter and spicy experiences and undergo numerous kind of emotional changes that shaped who I am today and for that I am truly grateful.

Special present? Nope, I don't get any but kisses and birthday wishes from my kids and my mister is special enough for me. We are together, reunite and stronger hence the hurricane upon us is a blessing for me and I  couldn't ask for more. 

Special wish? Hurmmmmmm, (for myself) instead of wishing, I am praying for my little family well-being here and hereafter (Amin)! 

Errrrr, I also wish I will look young and slim forever like Amy Mastura, hahahaha! Just kidding okay! (^^)V

Rambled too much already and it's time to say Peace, No War!

Me few days before my 33th birthday

Spontaneous Raya Trip

Still going to rant about Raya 2015 :P

On 3rd Syawal, we spontaneously accepted SIL invitation to go to their place in Skudai although we have other plan but since we never been to her new home in Skudai/Johor Bahru, we thought that it was the right time to go. The journey took longer time than we expected due to traffic along the highway from Muar to Johor Bahru, we only managed to reach SIL place at 12pm after visiting few of her friends and relatives(from her husband side). I been to Johor Bahru before (with Just & Lin during our 1D trip to Singapore) but it was too during night time, so I feel a bit disappointed for not able venturing the city and its nearby attraction this time too (-_-). In Sha Allah, will arrange another trip in near future to appease those longing to venture and travel.

The next day, after kiddos spent some times with their cousins, we started our journey to go back to Puchong but before that we visited another SIL at Muar and have our shot of the delicious Muar Asam Pedas nearby her place. The place is so damn crowded with local and outsider feasting with the variety of food especially the Asam pedas. SIL's husband said that there is another good place for eatery experience with good price but time is not on our side since we have to go back to Puchong that day. Mister said Muar is not an interesting place but to me it is a place that worth venturing, well not only for it's simplicity but also for its foods people. So until next time Muar! Ngehehe!

SIL also went back with us that day, so we followed them to visit SIL's Husband relative who located at Kg Sg Rambai, Jasin, Melaka after stopping at the giant trishaw at the Muar border with Sg Rambai, Jasin. It quite fascinated the kids and well me too actually, hahaha! 

There are lots of Rambutan trees at the village of SIL's Husband relative that the 'monkey instinct' in me almost surface but I have to reign in myself from climbing the trees like I used to do back in my village. Kids were over-excited too and luckily the trees was inhibited by swarm of ants. That the only reason they didn't turned to ninja that day, lol!

After solat Maghrib, we resume our journey and Alhamdulillah managed to reach Puchong at 10pm after sending MIL to Semenyih (yep, MIL also tagged along with us to Johor). So overall, it was really a spontaneous, short and tiresome Raya trip ever but I don't mind because the kids a having good time, bonding with their relatives from their father side.

Kiddos and their cousins

landmark of Muar & sky high TV aerial that caught my attention

Candid shot of MIL & me while having/waiting our shot of Asam pedas

Rombongan raya..hehe

Rambutans are everywhere in Kg Sg Rambai, Jasin, melaka

compulsory 'mikirayou' pic with the giant trishaw :P

To be continued..hehehe!

Eldest 13th Birthday

Actually son birthday was on 19th July and nothing extra-ordinary or happening event occurred but still, I want to leave some memory on this blog of mine for my own record. Took me sometimes to write this tho. Sibuk beraya ba kunun, hehehe.

This year, eldest 13th birthday fell on 3rd day of Syawal, so went to Subang Parade's Secret Recipe to fulfill his wish of not having any special birthday cake but to treat his siblings and him dinner at his favorite food outlet and have a piece or 2 of those yummy cake from secret recipe and also his favorite meal; beef lasagna. Syukur Alhamdulillah, this shy boy of mine memang tidak banyak permintaan (*teary eyes).

I guess every parent might have the same feeling I have now.. You know those feeling of dreading the moment that their kids grow up so fast and won't need them anymore.. Honestly, it's a wonderful journey to watch him grow up and develop but it's also scary because negative vibes and aura is everywhere around us and it make me feel like I have no enough eyes to watch over my kids especially my teenage boy. 

People said parent shouldn't be too over protective over their kids, that we need to let them mingle and explore the world so that they will able to stand by themselves but still to me it's something I won't be able to fully commit, not because I don't trust my kids but mainly because of the threat from the environment and people around them. Banyak kes yang unexpected ba sekarang (*sighed).

Gosh, don't want to turn this writing into soppy one, so to my beloved 1st born; Mama will always pray for your happiness and success in life and hereafter. Mama also pray that you will grow up into kind and responsible gentleman. Happy belated 13th birthday son, love you to the moon and back!

My beloved 1st born :D

Salam Aidilfitri 2015

Oh my, how time flies...It's already day 6th of Syawal, can you believe that?! Am supposed to post this on 1st of Syawal but you know banyak betul aral yang melintang and glad that today (although it just a boring story of my ordinary Syawal celebration) I have free time to finally publish this.

Based on last minute voting (macam pilihanraya la pula, hehehe) this year my small family choose blue as our theme for baju kurung & baju melayu despite of my sulking face because I don't really fancy the color especially it's seem so striking to me. This year teda tempah baju kurung because I have this RM50 Zalora discount voucher from digi, so decided to use the voucher to buy my baju kurung from Zalora. Mo jimat ba,tehehe! Bought Mister and sons baju melayu from our the apparel shop nearby and noticed that there is major price increase of the baju melayu (same design & material, different color). Terasa juga la the difference sebab puluh ringgit juga (-_-). Darn GST, grrrr! Le daughter baju kurung is the cheapest, so the total price of our baju kurung/baju melayu still within budget. Ayat bikin sejuk hati, Lol!

On the eve of Syawal, as always I go to my MIL house in Semenyih to help her with syawal preparation since as always everyone will gather at her house on 1st Syawal before berkonvoi visiting families, relatives and friends around Selangor. On 1st of Syawal, we went to kiddos Atok Li (FIL) house 1st then only we went to gather at kiddos grandma (MIL). This been a yearly routine of mine for the past 13 years (*smile).

One thing I really anticipated on Syawal is asking forgiveness from everyone of our wrong doing that can give me some kind of relief and feel the burden of guilty and remorse lift from my heart (*sighed). Of course the for food lover like me, variety of food juga amat ditunggu-tunggu, hahaha! 

So I am taking this opportunity to wish all my muslim families,relatives & friends a blessed and meaningful Syawal. Let us learn to forgive and forget, be kind and generous to each other and count everything as a blessing. Salam Aidilfitri!

Blue theme :)

Family pic at FIL house

SILs and me

Somewhere in Meru, Klang

Reach Out Run 2015

I joined Reach Out Run 2015 organized by IM4U 2 weeks ago and collected another finisher medal for 10KM. It was a last minute decision since I wanted to do one long slow distance before fasting month. Saya berhibernasi from any running/jogging activities during Ramadhan because I knew that my body won't tolerate fasting and doing physical activities. 

It was raining all the way from starting point to the finish line but I managed to improve my 10KM PB and I was over the moon for that. Maybe it was because I am enjoying the rain as much as the run, ngehehe!  Siuk ba main hujan sekali-sekala. Rindu terus sama kampung tercinta!

This is another running event that I would give 2 thumbs up for their smooth and fun event execution despite of the cloudy and rainy day that day. They provide portable toilet, good number of  water station, effective medical team and supportive cheering team and volunteers. I personally love the running tee and have no remorse for paying RM48 since it will goes to charity. However, the finisher medal design is too common ( to me) and can be more creative.

Oh ya, they invited artists too! I recognized  Zizan Raja Lawak, Joe Flizzow, SonaOne and Aizat doing the 100meter race. Joe Flizzow was right to my eyes that day and  I wanted to take pic with him but I was too shy!! Akibatnya melepas, grrrr! 

Sharing few pics from the day of the event:-

Post-run pic & the finisher medal close-up

Selife in front of Wall of fame where the organizer enlisted all those participate

Lepas berasak-asak, dapat juga snap 1 pic at the Wall Of Fame. Can you spot my name?

Other pics

Screen shot of the certificate - My PB, yay!

Running & Yoga are 2 things that keep me fit, healthy and stress free nowadays so it will be become part of my lifestyle. I might slow down but I will never stop because I just like how this activity blend in with my life.

Until next post, have great day ahead!

Picnic At Sungai Congkak

During the recent school mid-term break, I didn't plan any trip or holiday for our family because the budget is quite tight nowadays plus I am saving for approaching Ramadhan and Aidilfitri. 

However, knowing that the kids need a fresh air and their dose of nature, we visited our favorite camping/picnic spot at Sungai Congkak. Kiddos love this place because it remind them of the stream nearby my home at village. They miss our kampung so much! Hopefully can secure our flight ticket end of this year or next year (*finger crossed). 

Visiting Sungai Congkak cost me nothing except for the parking fee (and foods of course) but nobody collecting those fee when we went there during the mid-term break. Normally there will be local people collecting RM5 per car. It was really a nice small river/stream with clean and clear water. We didn't bring any foods with us because there are lots of stall selling various kind of foods along the road and the riverside..

We let the kiddos play to their heart content before we went to their grandma place. Mister drove a little bit further and we realized that there are trekking area too. Will explore this area in future with kiddos. Oh yeah, I really loves nature but I am phobia of earth worm! Pathetic, I know right...

On the way to kiddos grandma place, we passed by the Semenyih Dam. The view is so beautiful and majestic. No wonder it is popular as a photoshoot background. We parked for a while and let the kids fed the monkeys (from inside our car) that loitering around waiting for visitors to give them foods. Well ya, sempat juga saya practice picture snapping skill yang saya belajar dari online sama kawan i.e si Just, ngehehe! Scolded mister few times sebab kasi fokus tu kamera on me instead of the view. Siou kio darling, LOL!

Overall, kiddos having fun and I got to spend quality time with them. Yeah, I know their trip was not as luxury as their friends but I rather bring them to the place where they can learn to appreciate the nature than to the place where they can only learn to spend and show off.

Snapped few pics just enough to capture the moments we spend together:-

Wefie!

kiddos and me kesiukan berendam. jernih kan tu air...

Hasil latihan, ngehehe!

Saya dan rakyat jelata :D

P/S:- I think most people know about but just for those not aware, resort and chalets are available for those who want to spend a night there and get the feel on living among the nature. 

Salam Ramadhan 2015

Despite of the sadness that happening around me lately, I still excited of the fasting month and don't ask me why because I simply like this one particular month for no reason at all. This year it will be fresh start for me, to learn more about Islam because honestly even after 13teen years I still feel like a lost lamb, stranded between past and future and unsure of the path I have choose. After the heart to heart talking with my mom, I been thinking of what she said to me about acceptance and  learning to embrace the fact that I am a Muslim now. I talked to her about situation I have thru while learning about Islam; that it terrified me and confuse me more. Honestly I still remember up to now how sad I was when this one person told me that my prayer is not going to accept by Allah because I didn't recite it in Arab. I still remember how unsatisfied and hurt I was when my question about originality of our current Qur'an, being ignored and misunderstood as blasphemy (when it was just out of my curiosity) that I stopped from learning at all. That was years ago and I have met lots of other kind and humble Muslim who approach me in gentler way since then but the disappointment over the past experience prevent me from moving forward. But it's going to change fo now on because I have decide to follow my mom advice. It will be one hard and long journey for me, so don't expect me to change overnight but In Sha Allah one day I will be there.

Blessed Ramadhan to all Muslims all over the world especially to my families & friends. May this sacred month remind us to be generous and moderate in our daily life and may our good deeds and Ibadah will be accepted by Allah.

Malaysia Team Fan Run 2015 (15KM Finisher)

On 31st May 2015 I joined another running event; Malaysia Team Fan Run 2015 organized by TM at Dataran Putrajaya and this time mister also participating. I registered myself for 15KM and mister joined 10KM (his 2nd). I considered it as my Kaamatan run, hehehe!

15KM gun off at 7.00am and as always I was late and behind the crowd @_@ Berangan mo kasi finish within 1 hours and 40min but I am happy finishing it below 2 hours, ngehehe! 

I considered it as one of very well-organized event among running event I've participated. Lots of portable toilet at the finish/start points, accurate distance marker, good number of water stations, ambulances & medical team and vibrant cheering team, breakfast pack, free flows of milk and 100plus and also entertainments. I also love the medal design! Gonna join again next year kalau umur panjang, In Sha Allah...

Sharing pics from the day of events:-

Pre-run pic :D

Post-run pic with medal close-up

Other mikirayou pics

US :)

Muka pancit mo kasi abis larian, hehe- photo credited to Victor & Elaine

Screenshot of the certificate. X sangka ranking below 50 :P

Mourning Heart

It's been 4 days since the shocking 6.0magnitude earthquakes hitting my beloved hometown, Ranau and our symbolic Mount Kinabalu yet I am still unable to give full concentration over work for what happened there. I may not there but my thought, heart and soul always wander back to my hometown.

Being a pure Dusun, who speak fluent Dusun and I grew up with customs and rules (it's in my blood) even after I have my own faith(religion), it really hurt me to read and listen to people mocking and making fun of my ancestors belief over recent earthquake that altered Mount Kinabalu forever. No matter how ridiculous their belief might sound, it's really wrong and unethical for us to ridicule their belief. Who we are to judge their faith and belief ?

Blaming others is not my nature because I believe everything happened for reason that only the Almighty God know. I feel so sad to the families of those who lost their lives on the Mount Kinabalu. I can only offer my prayer to them so that they will be given the strength and will-power to face the grieves of losing their loved one. I believe all of us, Sabahan wherever we are, mourning and crying in silence over the life lost and effected over the earthquake that hit Mount Kinabalu on that fateful day.

Call me paranoia but I am still worried for my family and friends back in Ranau because natural disaster is unpredictable but I am hoping and praying that everyone will be safe. Mom said the spirit of the sacred mountain is showing its anger over the recent disrespectful act by several tourist during their hiking trip. Menurut cerita orang-orang tua, Ranau akan ditimpa musibah besar kalau Gunung Kinabalu runtuh.. Wallahu a'lam..

Yesterday yet I am still mourning over the loses..

Life goes on but they will never be forgotten..

Happy 11th Birthday, Daniel!

Last Saturday my 2nd son, Daniel turned 11th years old. No mini family party for him because Mister step-sister a.k.a my SSIL invited us to her house and celebrated her son birthday together with Daniel. Hurmm, actually I was kind of reluctant to go because I prefer to do our usual mini family party tapi kena jemput kan..

I only brought along Daniel birthday cake that I ordered from RT Pastry via online to sister in law place. This time we ordered Yam flavor cake and I tell you, sedap gila tu kek tau! RM72 for 8" delicious cake worth the value. Thanks to sister in law, foods & drinks all prepared by her. It was just simple celebration attended by mister siblings but kids were having fun that day.

Unfortunetely, I didn't took many pic that day, haihhh! 

To my beloved Daniel, Happy Birthday Anak. May you grow up to be a kind-heart, responsible & successful gentleman. Mama will always pray for your happiness and success in this world and hereafter. Love you to the moon and back!

Eyas Kindie Sport Day 2015

Just want to share important moment of my youngest son life  So, Am considering this year Kindie Sport Day among one since it's his last year year in kindie before entering primary school next year. 

The event ended earlier than scheduled due to the hot weather that caused the kids to start showing their tantrum. Unlike last year, lots of activities for the kids and parents cancelled. It's understandable tho. Terlampau panas, sampai some of the pupils cry, unable to bear the hot weather.

Eyas got sunburnt! Hmmm, next time must tell kiddos to apply sunscreen if they have outdoor activities. Some pics during and after the Sport Day:-

activities he participated. Can you guess what's its name?

His was placed 2nd

His last year and last Kindie Sport day

Aftermath pic of us :P

Happy Mother's Day 2015

It's Mother's Day today and as always I will call my mom to have my weekly 20min chit-chat and at the same time to wish her Happy Mother's Day. That's all I can do to persuade my longing heart to my beloved mom beside giving her some allowance every month. Kalau dekat seja Sabah dengan Malaya, confirm saya balik every weekend to visit her (*teary eyes). 

Lately too many topic related to religion make me feel so upset and confused! Though I been embraced Islam for almost 14 years yet I am still in process of learning. Frankly, too much 'Haram' is really suffocating! Apa pun (even benda baik) tak boleh. Katanya akan terpesong akidah! Wishing my Christian mom anything pun make me feel serba salah. Why everything has become so extreme nowadays? Where does moderation, understanding and tolerance has gone? Islam is beautiful, sacred and peaceful religion, why make it look violence, full with hatred and condemnation? I am sorry of this statement of mine might hurting those who think they are so pious and above all that they think they have the power to decide who's wrong who's right (*sigh).

Yes, despite of so many 'expert' saying that it is not right a.k.a HARAM to celebrate Mother's Day, we still bought cake and foods and brought it to mister's mum. Well, as long as it not going to memesongkan akidah, niat yang betul and our Iman tetap pada Allah yang satu then it's ok ba kan. Haihhh, okay case closed! 

To my beloved mother; Thank you for everything ama. Now I understand what you feel and been through all those year raising me up. To my beloved Mom In Law; Thank you mak for accepting me as part of your family and treating me like your own daughter. To my beloved sisters, nieces & cousins, my beloved hot mama friends, all mothers and soon to be mothers all over the world and also to ME; Happy Mother's Day! We are all superwoman!

Card make by my youngest for me. Thank you anak!

 

Youngest Son 6th Birthday

Alhamdullillah, yesterday my youngest son turned 6 years old. I can't believe my over manja, too attached finger sucking baby is going to primary school next year. Terasa diri makin tua, hahaha!

As always, we only have small family birthday party at our home. No fancy cake or foods. We bought blackforrest cake from our favorite cake/pastry house, RT Pastry House and take away foods from KFC since the birthday boy teringin makan KFC,lol! 

I don't really like to appease my kids demand/request over toys but he has been nagging me for years to have his own remote control car, so we decided to grant his wish and bought value deal remote control car for his birthday present. Heart those moment when he got his present with ear to ear smile.. 

Dearest Ilyas maliq, happy 6th birthday son! May you grow up to be a good, responsible and kind-heart gentleman and May Allah guide and blesses you along your life journey. Mama will always pray for you happiness and success. Love you son!
 

Family portrait

candid :P

He said, "mine"

 

Visiting Mom & Trip To Kg Luanti, Ranau

Went back to my village, to visit my mom and also attending another running event last week, from 30/4/2015 till 3/5/2015. It was really a short visit because I only spent 2D1N at my village (Kg Tudangan) and the rest was at Kota Kinabalu, preparing for the Borneo International Marathon 2015. Padahal limpang2 di rumah anak buah membaca novel, LOL! 

Fly back to KK on Wednesday night (29/04/2015), stayed at my niece a.k.a childhood friend then drove back with her to our beloved Kg Tudangan the next day, hoping (me especially) that we able to stop and snap nice pic with Mt Kinabalu as the background. Nasib dapat juga few pics, ngehehe!

I also managed to visit the famous Tagal Sg. Moroli, Kg Luanti, Ranau and have my own dose of fish spa. Ya, finally dapat juga pigi..Been planning to visit this place for such a long time but circumstances always got on my way. The entrance fee is RM5 per adult and RM5 per group for usage of camera (any kind of camera including phone camera). Each group will given 15min to play and feed with the fishes and will be call off the time is over tapi kami kena kasi lagi ekstra 5min, yay! Next time, by crook or by hook will bring kiddos to this place (*finger crossed). For more info, check out their website.

Sharing some of pics from my phone camera:-

Next year want to climb Mt Kinabalu again :P

Heart the background :)

I was here!

Fishes that tickling my hands

Spot the crowd :D

Budget Korean tourist (> <)

Foods!

Carbo-loading!

I did not have the opportunity to capture Mt Kinabalu from the backyard of my home because I overslept after a long chit-chat, talking heart to heart with my mom the previous night. After a year, I definitely have lots of catching up with my mom (*smile). Importantly, mom is supporting my lifestyle and the improvement of relationship between mister and me, Alhamdullillah. Thank you for your 'restu' and prayer ma..

Oh well, I better stop ranting before this entry become a soppy one and ruin you cheerful life (*rolled eyes). Until next entry, smile and Happy Wednesday all!

CNY 2015: CUTI-CUTI KL

This year, I spent whole Chinese New Year holiday with kiddos and mister; swimming at pool, visiting National Museum and Butterflies Park and also food hunting around KL - Shah Alam - Subang. Yep, just a common and typical super cheap a.k.a budget family holiday but it doesn't matter because for us it was our family bonding-time. Moreover we have so much fun, especially kiddos.

Kiddos really like swimming but unfortunately the swimming pool at our apartment has been closed due to unknown reason, grrrr! Since I knew that nearby beaches such as Port Dickson, Morib etc must be crowded, mister and I booked standard suite at Peninsula Residence Suite Hotel for a night so that kiddos can swim to their heart content and trust me when I said that they really mandi sampai lebam, bwahahaha! Thinking of extending our stay but cancelled that intention because the price has been hike up 150%!

We checked out, continued our journey to venturing around KL attraction and managed to visit 2 places; National Museum and Butterfly Park in the midst of the scorching sun, hahaha! Kiddos having good time inside National Museum but their non-stop question really got my nerves, hah! They were fascinated by the historical stuff that displayed there (*smile). The eldest balik-balik kasi related stuff he saw with 'The Picker' and 'Pawn Star' show. Haihhh, anak..

At the Butterfly Park KL, once again kiddos show their enthusiasm with the surrounding especially the butterflies. It was such a pure delight to watch them connecting to the nature and I am really glad that I decided to spend more time with them. By the way, my youngest is really the sissy one yet adorable, hahaha!

Okay, enough rambling now sharing some of moment captured during our cuti-cuti KL 11:-

Mi Familia (^^)

Kiddos fun time at the pool - mandi sampai lebam katanya, hahaha!

from Tunung Family with love :P

1st time bringing all the kids to the National Museum

Posing with the antique car in front of the museum

kiddos wish they could take away that Japanese bicycle..hahahaha!

Butterflies Map

The Queen & Princess in our small kingdom :P

Pride & Joy

I heart this pic & moment (^^)V

Selfie is a must (^^)

Pic of butterflies that I managed to snap with my phone camera

 That's all for now, keep smiling everyone!

In the end, kids won't remember that fancy toys or games you bought for them, they will remember the time you spent with them - Kevin Heath