Missing Him

Assalamualaikum.

Salam Eid Adha to all muslims. May this celebration bring happiness and barakath to all of us. Just want to warn you all to skip my page if you don't want to read soppy story because apparently this going to be one today.

9 years ago today, I lost my beloved father and part of myself that I always wish I am asleep for the whole September. I was born on September and I lost someone I love dearly on the same month. How ironic is that? Green Day's song "wake me up when September end" define my feeling well (*sighed).

People said the every wound will heal over time and yes, it will heal but it will leave a scar that will remind you a deep wound existed there before and you'll remember the pain you been thru. It will stop bleeding and the pain will subside slowly over time yet the memories will remain, forever stamped deep inside you mind and heart that will automatically replay with certain button.

Since 2006, 24th September will automatically remind me of what I lost on that day. It remind me of the pain I have thru since that day. It remind that he is no longer there at home waiting for me with his smile, he is no longer at the other side of the phone to listen to my whining and complaint of life, he is no longer there to back me up against those who hate me and importantly he is no longer there to advise and admonish me to stand up and fight back when I stumble and fall down in my life.

On this day I allowed myself to re-live the memories with him and then cry over it so that I will wake up the next day and days after with determination to make him proud of me.

Rest in peace bapa. I might be not as successful as others but I will try to become a better person, a good daughter, a good mother, a good wife and make you proud because I believe you are watching from above.