Salam Ramadhan 2015

Despite of the sadness that happening around me lately, I still excited of the fasting month and don't ask me why because I simply like this one particular month for no reason at all. This year it will be fresh start for me, to learn more about Islam because honestly even after 13teen years I still feel like a lost lamb, stranded between past and future and unsure of the path I have choose. After the heart to heart talking with my mom, I been thinking of what she said to me about acceptance and  learning to embrace the fact that I am a Muslim now. I talked to her about situation I have thru while learning about Islam; that it terrified me and confuse me more. Honestly I still remember up to now how sad I was when this one person told me that my prayer is not going to accept by Allah because I didn't recite it in Arab. I still remember how unsatisfied and hurt I was when my question about originality of our current Qur'an, being ignored and misunderstood as blasphemy (when it was just out of my curiosity) that I stopped from learning at all. That was years ago and I have met lots of other kind and humble Muslim who approach me in gentler way since then but the disappointment over the past experience prevent me from moving forward. But it's going to change fo now on because I have decide to follow my mom advice. It will be one hard and long journey for me, so don't expect me to change overnight but In Sha Allah one day I will be there.

Blessed Ramadhan to all Muslims all over the world especially to my families & friends. May this sacred month remind us to be generous and moderate in our daily life and may our good deeds and Ibadah will be accepted by Allah.