You're Always In My Heart

Hola a todos! How are you today? Lately, I haven't doing any blog-walking and I am kind of out of date with my blogger friends nowadays, thanks to my load of work at office and also to 'Football Fever' that distracting me from doing so (*sighing). 

It's been a while I haven't write anything about my feeling, so since today is Father's Day, I decide to write something about my father, a person that raised me up with unconditional love, my role model that inspired me to be what I am nowadays and I will never feel bored to say that I love and adore my father very much for everything he was. Beside my kids, he is one of my source strength to face any obstacle that may come stumble in my life. He was not a wealthy man but he was rich with kindness and compassion to everyone around him. He was the one who taught not to hold grudge against people who did wrong to me and always forgive others mistake and  pray the best for them regardless their wrong doing to me. My father said, hate and grudge only make us bitter and unable to move on and I am totally agree with him. He was my extra shoulder that always help me to bear the burden in my life and losing him taught me to be more dependent and strong-will woman. He gone for almost 6 years now and never once I forget him. In fact he is always in my prayer and in my heart. Losing him make me feel empty but knowing that he is in better place now and he will always there to watch over me calm my heart. 

Okay, don't yawn yet because I am gonna stop right here. After all, I have load of blog-walking to do (*winking). I am taking this opportunity to wish all fathers all over  the world, Happy Father's Day! Especially to my husband, the father of my 4 angels, hugs and kisses from us to you, thank you for everything Hubby!

Have a blessed Sunday everyone!

P/S: Song below dedicated to all fathers (especially to my beloved father)  and mothers all over the world.

I Miss You Dad!

 

Yes, I miss my father very much! I miss to talk with him, to tell him about my heart content, my problem and what I am thinking (*sighing). Whenever new year approaching, I will think back how was my life so far? What I have achieve in my life? Whether I am happy with my life? Whether I am satisfied with what I am doing now? Whether I am making the rightthing for me, the kids and for everyone else? Yes, all of those question  might make you think that I am such paranoia but that is just me re-evaluating my life for better option.

You must wonder why talking stuff like that with my father when I have a husband. Honestly, I never talk this stuff with husband because I don't feel comfortable talking about this stuff with him and moreover he is not a good listener like my father. Yes, we might be husband and wife but there are certain thing I don't like to share with him and even if we are spouse but it doesn't mean we gonna share everything! That just my opinion though and it not apply to all people ok! (*winking)

Well, I seem happy with my life but honestly I am not that happy at all because I often miss my family back at Sabah and too much pressure from certain people here in KL. I miss to gather with my friends and nieces back at Sabah. I don't have any close friend here in KL... In fact I never go out with friends here in KL! Sometimes I feel bored because my life only  rebound around  my kids, husband and his family. Please don't mistaken that I don't like family life because I like it but I only want some time for myself where I free to spend it with my my friends. There is nothing wrong of wanting some time for ourselves, isn't it?

The only time I have for myself is when I am going to watch movie at cinema by myself. Gosh! How I miss the girl talk with my girls friend and the last time I have that was like 6 year ago with my best friend, Opong. I wish I could talk out my heart with my father because he will know how to console me and make me feel better with his wise and comforting words. Yes, Ia such a daddy's girl! 

Well, writing a post about it definitely help a bit because now I feel bit better! LOL! Thank you for reading and sorry because you have to read an emotional post from me. Wish you all have a very Good Day! 

P/S: Song below really pictured my feeling right now! I love this song even though it make me cry every time I listen to it! (^_^) v

Happy Father's Day!

Father's day is special day to me even though my beloved father no longer around to answer my special phone call. 

 *FLASHBACK..

 Me : hello, mak honggo ih tapa? *hello, mum where is dad?

Mak : hilo soriba, momonsoi tv doh ulun. Nokuro daa? * Repairing people's TV downstairs. What's up?

Me : Lohowo daa mak. Haro boroson ko dau..* Can you call him for me? I want to talk to him.

Mak : ba, andadon toruhai.. * Okay, wait a moment.

Few minutes after...

Bapa: Hallo..Nuh rih Nung? Osibok oku noh tih.. * Hello, what's up Nung? I am really busy here.

Me : Selamat Hari Bapa!!!  * Happy Father's Day!

Bapa : Aii..Ai..Ai.. Na-agakku noh.. Okon monghuot doh no akaun, posuang doh tusin. Haha!

           *Ai,ai,ai .Just as I thought. You are not asking for my account number?

Me : Hihi..haro noh nokosuangku nga ingaa togumu.. * Hihi.. I already banked in but not much.

Bapa : Tei..ba, surou poh haro matu.. *It's okay, at least you did gave some.

Me : Bapa, osonong-sonong ko ih matu?  *Dad, are you okay there?

Bapa : Osonong-sonong ih tih ..  Om, poingkuro-kuro koh dika hino?  *I am fine. How about you?

Me : Osonong-sonong yagai tih.. Bla..bla..bla..bla..bla..bla.. *We are doing fine here..Bla..Bla..Bla..

Bapa : (listening intently while chipped here and then)

Me : Ba, monolipon oku kawagu kio bapa.. Nawi noh kredit tih telipon..*Okay dad, I'll call you again, I am run out of credit.

Bapa : Hahaha.. ba, poisikou kio Nung. *Hahaha, Okay and thanks Nung.

Me : Ish, Inga hal boi bapa. Poinsikou dika  ..(then I hung up)  * It's okay dad. Thanks to you instead

Frankly, I do feel the emptiness sometime and during those time I really wish I could talk to my father one last time, which is impossible especially when I am in problem. I envied those who have a father to rely on! Such a childish feeling isn't it..Now, during this special day, all I can do to express my gratitude and love to my deceased father is praying. He was gone forever but in my heart, his memory lives on.. I LOVE YOU DAD..

Image by Mr. Google

For those who still have a father and rarely express your gratitude and love to them, start doing it now as often as you can to avoid the feeling of guilt and regret when they are gone because believe me, it's really a haunting feeling. For those who have a  severed relationship with your father, start to mend the broken bridge because no matter what flaw and imperfection your father have, they are still your father. 

To daddies all over the world especially to my hubby and my father in law, HAPPY FATHER"S DAY!

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.