Relaxing the Blurry Mind

3 more days before 2011 yet here I am with my blurry and mingling mind that just now I was staring to the monitor for quite sometimes, like I was frozen for a moment before I start to type down this entry.

Sometimes this condition happened to me because I am too engrossed with my thought on about how fast time passed by. My mind is trying to grasp this fact and I think it stop to function properly due to thousand of memory flashed back that I couldn't put it into words! My mind is like a mixed-up puzzle that I need to rearrange it back to get the picture back.

This condition also happened to me when I am too nervous or anxious about sometime that my mind will acted to block my nerves system that caused me to froze for a while.. Yes, it is really hilarious but that's me and I am used to it.. It's not a bad condition and I think 9 from 10 person happened to face the same condition as me.

Whenever this happened, all I have to do is ~ Take a deep breath ~ Think of the blue ocean ~ Think of My kids smiley face ~ RELAX~ and I will be okay few minutes later!

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010

Last time I celebrated this event is 10 years ago before I converted to Islam. Frankly, I misses to celebrate Christmas very much but please do not misunderstand because I just miss the celebration not my former religion. I misses the Christmas present giving, I  misses the decoration, I misses the family gathering on this event and I misses the foods!

I still celebrate Christmas but not as happening as before since here in Peninsular, people will eyes us suspiciously especially about this that concerned with religion. I have once asked a friend who asked an expert on thing like this whether it is wrong to me to celebrate Christmas with my family and I am glad upon his explanation that it is okay as long as I know the boundaries. He said that what matter the most is our faith in Allah and our intention on celebrating.




So, I would like to shout to the world especially to my beloved mother and families back at Sabah a very Happy Christmas! May Happiness and Grace bestow upon us all and peace and harmony spread worldwide!

My Happy Ending!

Everyone want a happy ending! Everyone planned their life to meet happily ever after yet to me it only existed in fairy tales. Life is reality of love,happiness, betrayal,hurt,sadness and disappointment, so I always keep my life reality checked though I love creating my own fairy tales in my head.


I don't expect perfection in my life because nothing, nobody perfect in reality and even sciences proved that it is a fact that we should keep in our mind. To me, achieving some of my long-listed purpose and dreams are satisfying and good enough to be my happy ending!

From Internet Surfer to Novel writer =)

It feel likes been ages since my last entry..
There is communication error regarding to my company internet line and still on process of recovery.
I lodged a report to TM customer hotline (100) since last Tuesday and until now there no proper action been made except for their constant call asking us whether the connection is still got problem or not..

Working without internet really slow me down since I am used to do 2 things at the same times.. While I wait for any delivery order and invoices being printed, I surfed the net.. I also chatted with my online friends but since last Tuesday I feel like my world is boring without internet. Yes, I am able to do my task faster but i have nothing to do after I done everything..

I am writing a novel to fill up my leisure time nowadays. I always wanted to do so but keep post-phoning it. Now I have a lot of free time so I decides that it's time for me to do it..
I hope I am able to finish writing it..

Balance Bring Forward

As far as I remember, i have so many purpose that unfulfilled and I keep forwarding it each year. It's really suck because I am 28 years old and i still have like 10+ purpose I've not done properly yet!!

I have so many expectation in my life! And maybe that's why it's really hard to fulfill every single thing I expect from my life especially after I ruined my own plan that I  planned during my teenage year.. I don't have anyone to blame for since it's my mistake. I have endured self-respect crash for some years before I got up one day, looking into my 1st born baby and said to myself that I must be strong, keep my head up and moved on with my life. Until then, my life purpose totally changed 360 degree because I have my kids future to consider with.

Nowadays, my life purpose mostly about my kids well-being and my dreams as well. I don't think I am ready to give up my childhood dream and I will make sure that one day it will come true before my life end..

Each year I am struggling and doing my best to fulfill every single purpose I have made and it's not as easy as people might seem. Being alone in metropolitan city that have no mercy on weak people and surrounded by money-greed people, the task is much more challenging and hard. If you are too weak and naive, you might allured into fulfilling your purpose by the illegal but easy way!

I am glad that I have my family moral support though they live far away in Sabah. It's enough for me to keep myself in the right path in fulfilling my dreams and purpose. Not once but over and over again people especially those i know online try to talk me into doing something bad but thank God that He gift me mind that can differ between bad and good. Although I have done mistake before but it doesn't mean that I will repeat the same mistake and I learn a lot from my past mistake!

Though I keep forwarding my unfulfilled dreams and purposes each year like a debt balance being forwarded I am proud with myself because I doing it the right way! It's might take quite some times to fulfill all of them  but I still believe that  I can achieve its.

Free Movie Marathon!

Who say we cannot do movie marathon for free.. With ASTRO movie channel, we can do it at home with our family!

Every times my family and I decided to stay at home we will do this and we enjoyed very much.. Though the movie has been played many times before yet it still enjoyable to watch especially with our love one..It kind of our bonding because all of my family member including the youngest one love watching movie!

Don't think that movie marathon can only done by going to cinema! All of us can do it at home since home theater existed! Moreover, it's free!

Harian Metro & Kosmo! : Idea No more??

Among many papers available here in Malaysia, I dislike Harian Metro and Kosmo! the most. Why? The answer is simple; because they reported a lot of trivial matter than significant ones.. Do we really want to know about trivial stuff such as weird animal, mystical stuff etc.. Yes, the papers still reported some important local news but 45% only and the rest were irrelevant news.. News paper should reported about relevant ongoing stuff...


Their choice of words for the title and also the content were another thing that really irritates me about this papers..  I don't wanna explain further because I don't want any reason for them to find fault with me later..

Let me conclude my reason on why I dislike this papers in simple words;~

• Lack of relevant news/event
• using "conceited" words ( in both title & contents )
• comical way of content evaluation - makes me think that the news is just rumors
• Dominating advertisement - Dr.Romzey appeared in every edition of Harian Metro like he own it! WTH!

If you are one of those weirdo stuff fan, I suggest you to read this papers because the papers itself are weirdo..I might be reading fanatic but still I choose my reading stuff and this papers were listed last in my choice.. To all Harian Metro & Kosmo! fan; no hard feeling okay!! This is just me expressing what I think.. Reading is good no matter what you read but your choice of reading material define something about you.. So, it's your choice!

Fifteen Things God Won’t Ask..

God won’t ask what kind of car you drove, but will ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation. God won’t ask the square footage of your house, but will ask how many people you welcomed into your home.
God won’t ask about the fancy clothes you had in your closet, but will ask how many of those clothes helped the needy.
God won’t ask about your social status, but will ask what kind of class you displayed.
God won’t ask how many material possessions you had, but will ask if they dictated your life.
God won’t ask what your highest salary was, but will ask if you compromised your character to obtain that salary.
God won’t ask how much overtime you worked, but will ask if you worked overtime for your family and loved ones.
God won’t ask how many promotions you received, but will ask how you promoted others.
God won’t ask what your job title was, but will ask if you reformed your job to the best of your ability.
God won’t ask what you did to help yourself, but will ask what you did to help others.
God won’t ask how many friends you had, but will ask how many people to whom you were a true friend.
God won’t ask what you did to protect your rights, but will ask what you did to protect the rights of others.
God won’t ask in what neighborhood you lived, but will ask how you treated your neighbors.
God won’t ask about the color of your skin, but will ask about the content of your character.
God won’t ask how many times your deeds matched your words, but will ask how many times they didn’t. 


My POV :~
# We might not perfect and to do all the qualities above seem impossible to accomplish since we're not a saint but at least we can try..

Million Thanks to:---> inspirational stories for sharing awesome story/quotes !! 

LOVE - WEALTH - SUCCESS

The story :~
A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beard in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said, " I don't think I know you but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."
" Is the man of house home ?", they asked.
" No, he is out ", she replied.
" Then we cannot come in, " they replied.

In the evening when her husband home, she told him what happened.
" Go and tell them I am home and I invite them in !"
The woman went out and invited the men in.
" we do not come to the house together, " they replied.
" why is that ?" she asked.
One of the old men explained. " His name is wealth, " he said pointing to one of his friend, and said pointing to another one, " He is success and I am love." Then he added, " Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her  husband was overjoyed. " How nice!!" he said.
" Since that is the case, let us invite the wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!!!!"
His wife disagreed. " My dear, why don't we invite success??"
Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion, " would it not better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!!!"

" Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife.
" Go out and invite Love to be our guest".
The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, " which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest".
Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the woman asked Wealth and Success, " I only invited Love. Why are you coming in?"
The old men replied together, " If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other 2 of us would've stayed out. But since you invited love, wherever he goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there also Wealth and Success!!!"

Moral of the story:

LOVE LEAD US TO BETTER THINGS SUCH AS WEALTH, SUCCESS,  HAPPINESS....

YES, THERE WOULD BE TIME WHEN LOVE HURT BUT BEYOND IT LOVE STILL CURE...

Stressful Year End

Year end is suppose to be anticipate by most people because it's time for holiday yet for me year end is the most stressing period since during this period my mind is coping with so many figure especially those concerning with my kids school preparation; books, tuition, apparatus, bus fees, school fees etc.

Well, my salary is just in average level, means it is okay yet living in metropolitan city like KL demand more than my salary can afford.. Everything we did here have cost and the cost is not as cheap as you think.. I wish i am living back at my village where the cost the lower!!!

I am 28 years old and I still have to settle my PTPTN loan.. I planned to settle it in 5 years yet with the rates I am paying back to PTPTN right now i think it might need more than 5 years to be settle.. I wish the government will evaluate back the interest that we have to pay.. My situation is worst because they already black-listed me at the Immigration and that caused a lot of trouble to me and prevent me from achieve more from my recent career..

Hopefully everything will be work as i planned....