Wordless Wednesday #20

Picture credited to Ellyvindra's Mobile Uploaded

Guess Who Is This?

Who is this girl?

I found this very old picture among my old stuff while I am trying to sort it out and throw away all of the unwanted, useless paper/trash. Actually there are few more of it but I just want to share this one particular pic because it remind me of the beautiful scenery my village once hold. I am not saying that my village is no longer as beautiful nowadays because to me it 's still beautiful but the scenery was no longer same as before. Too many house nowadays (*sighing)...

When I was a kid (like the girl in the pic), the scenery of our house backyard/front-yard was full with trees especially fruits tree and also wild flower. I remembered when I got back from primary school, my nephews, my nieces and me will climbed  up the citrus tree with our homemade sambal (mixed of salt-belacan-cili padi/lado seroi) and having a great time eating limau/mangga on the tree until my father came, scolding us and spoiled our leisure time (*laughing). He was not mad because we were eating the fruits but he was mad because we're bringing along our sambal on the tree. Bapa cakap nanti itu pokok minkorikata..

I think I just want to talk about the old pic but as always once I talk about my childhood stuff/memory, I couldn't help myself from writing about it with twinkle in my eyes because it happened to be the most happiest period of my life (*smiling). Well, regarding the pic above, who do you think was the girl on the pic?? Hahaha, this is not a contest or what so ever but only giving you glimpse of myself okay! 

Happy Sunday & Happy working Monday in advance everyone!

Not Once But Twice...

Image credited to scaredmonkeys.com

As much as I want it to be the other way but it's fact that I failed my JPJ test again. Now I failed not once but twice in JPJ test part II (slope,side parking and 3 pointer). Crying? Of course I cried because I need to pay to re-take the test and it's not cheap tau.. I swear I can see wings sprout from my money as soon as the JPJ officer blew her whistle, signalling me to stop and get out from the car. "duh, there gone my money again." (*sob2)

I feel like giving up because I was so confident that I can pass it, but unfortunately I did not pass and I can't describe the despair feeling I have right now. I don't know whether want to re-take the test in near future or not because I think I might need some time to get over this failure. I guess I need to take few more hour class concentrating on the 3 pointer part only..(*sighing)

Hubby said not to think too much about it but honestly this failure of mine is the only thing consuming my mind since I got back from the JPJ track this morning. So here I am pouring out my sadness and annoyance over my failure. Do bear with me okay! (*puppy eyes) 

I don't want to tint your wonderful day with my pathetic story more than I already have. So, better I stop this sad ranting but one last request from me; siapa2 yang ada tips macamana mo kasi hilang nervous, please share with me kio! Sound like no big thing but for me it's always got on my way...

P/S: Over-nervous sampai kaki uncontrollably shaking.. (-_-)

Cosmetics And Me!

" Kenapa tak make-up? Nampak pucat la.."

" Pakai la sikit make-up, baru nampak cantik sikit..." 

Blah..Blah..Blah...

I am used to all of above sentences and anything that concerned with make-up/cosmetic stuff that I just shrugged at it all the time like nothing but honestly sometimes I do feel uncomfortable and irritates because it kind of killing my self-esteem. You see, I am one of those woman who rarely put on make-up because I don't fancy this make-up/cosmetic thing and I don't really know how to it on my face. Ya..Ya.. I am naive about cosmetics! 

The pale me..hmm, do I need make-up??

People said, woman and cosmetics are inseparable..Eh, ya ka? Bukan woman and diamond ka itu?? (*scratching head like moron). Ba, whatever la (*laughing like moron before back to serious mode).. My daily cosmetics only consist with oil-free moisturizer, oil-free face powder, mascara (kalu sa rajin la) and lipstick (nude/natural color) but I am okay with just applying moisturizer only. Don't ask me about eye-shadow, eye-liner, eyebrow pencil, foundation, blusher, concealer etc because I am really suck with this cosmetics stuff. Whenever I have make-up on my face, I feel like a sticky mask plastered on my face and I couldn't wait to wash it off my face. Weirdly, I really like to watch woman with make-up.. Sound like I am a stalker huh (*laughing). Don't worry, I am, not stalker. I just like to see their make-up variety.. (*winking)

Haiya! What I am ranting about here?? Like you want to know my incapability in cosmetics stuff kan.. Actually, I am kind of nervous I am going to re-take my JPJ test tomorrow and that's why I feel like want to rants like crazy woman. God help me, I must pass it because I couldn't afford to re-take it again okay! Sorry for posting another boring and crazy stuff and wish all the best for me tomorrow ya!

posted from Bloggeroid

Good Dad?? Bad Dad??

I am reading through one of blogger post about  her father and how much she love him because of the sacrifice her father have done for her and her siblings and couldn't help myself from snorting and making an ugly expression because I know her and this man she call 'father'. Maybe not that well but long enough to know their family character and frankly I really don't like their character and behavior.

image credited to gooddadbaddad.com

I am not writing this to judge or to humiliate them but the feeling I have keep for so long about them is clawing from deep inside me to be acknowledge especially after reading her praise and adoration over her father. Well, who is not praising a good, wonderful and responsible father whom willing to sacrifice everything for his children happiness right? But, this girl's father only being good towards his children with his new wife. Yep, this 'father' have kids with his 1st wife/ex-wife that being treated badly by him and his new family. Thinking of his bad treatment towards his other children make want to puke when I read this blogger praise over him. I guess she is just want to be a good daughter who talk only good thing about her father and turn blind to the bad side of her father... If her father really that good, he will find them, support them and guide them to the right path instead of giving up and let the children strayed away.. If he is really such an amazing father, he will never disowned his other children for no matter what the situation is.. (*with emo aura)

I never stop wondering how can a father acted indifferently towards his children when his blood is running in them though they are from different mother? When I was a kid, I only watched this kind of scenario from TV and it really hard for me to believe that this kind of father exist in reality since I lived with my mother, my stepmother, my siblings and my step-siblings and my father love all of us equally. For that I am really grateful..But when I was older and  seen one 'father' with this bad traits, I have to accept that this is not a fiction but a fact..(*defeated expression)

As I said, this is not my judgement but just my hidden feeling that been lurking in my heart for quite some time now and I feel such a relief to blurt it out here.. I am really sorry if you may find that this post offense you in some way because as I mentioned earlier it just my thought and feeling.. Well, some people said it's better to pour out our hard feeling before it turn into poison and here I am doing exactly that to avoid my heart from being poisonous.. Padahal alasan mo kasi lepas geram ja..(*winking)

Back To Memory Lane: My 1st Crush

All of sudden I think of one name; my 1st crush and I couldn't reign myself from writing about it. It happened 15 years ago but the memory is still crystal clear.

Image credited to santabanta.com

I guess everyone have their own experience with their 1st crush. Well, I was once a teenager and being a normal teenager, me too have that 1st crush experience. Thinking about it make me want to rolling on the floor and laugh till my lung burst because it was so hilarious and funny but embarrassing at the same time.

I was in form 3 when this crush of mine attending my school with his younger sister. He was a very skinny and pale Chinese boy. He was not really that good looking but his shyness and silence that  attracted me to him. Many times I tried to talk to him but my reputation as a fierce and stuck-up girl make him ran every time I tried to approach him. Daring gila masa dulu2 (*laughing). Since I cannot get closed to him, I tried to be-friend with his younger sister with the help of my cousin which was in the same class with her. If I want to write it in detail, it will take pages but let just shorten the story to the climax of my 1st crush confession. I asked his younger sister to pass my letter to him! Well, it was not really a letter but my bio-data on it with a message "Boleh kita berkenalan?" Did I get any replies? Nope, he never replied and few weeks after that he moved out and I never heard any of him until now. 

That was the story of my 1st crush. Of course I have another crush after that but as people said 1st time always stuck in our mind (*winking). How about you people? Don't tell me that you never experience any crush at all because that excuses won't buy me. Just kidding okay! Feel free to share your own story of your 1st crush and do let me know so that I will stop by to read about it, okay!

Welcoming March

Image credited to 123rf.com

I can't believe it's March already but there is nothing we can do to stop time right? It's beyond our control.. No matter what, we have to welcome every single new days, new months and new years with expectation that we live it to the fullest, aren't we? or maybe it's just me..

I leave behind the month of February with relief though there were few things that I didn't managed to achieve (*sighing).. Well, I failed my JPJ test, what more can I say (*sighing again).. A slight mistake while doing the 3 pointer that cost me another amount of bucks to repeat the whole part! Thinking of it just make me mad with myself but I have to accept that I failed and the only thing I can do to make it right is to re-take the test and hopefully this time I will pass it (*positive thinking).

I have nothing much planned for March except for preparation of our whole family "balik kampung" trip on mid of April. It's just a short trip of 5 days but I think it's better than not going at all right? Sorry, can't help myself from keep mentioning this trip since the kids, hubby and I really looking forward to it (*with twinkle in my eyes).

What your plan on March? I bet all of you must have your own splendid plan right?(*winking). No matter what your plan, I hope all of us will have a peace, happy and wonderful life, not only for today  but also whole month of march and whole your life..(^_^) v

Wordless Wednesday #19

Source Of Strength

Whenever I feel like breaking down and want to raise the flag of surrender over life hardness, I will focus my mind over my kids smiling face to calm myself and keep on fighting. Yes, they are my amulet of strength, the source of my strength that their smiling face alone can reload 50% of my fighter spirit beside prayer to God and support from those who cares.. Balik-balik cerita pasal anak kan but they are my life and it's better writing about them than gossiping about other people affair kan.. (*winking)

My Source Of Strength (^_^)V

Why do I refer my kids as my amulet of strength? Isn't God suppose to be our source of strength? Well, of course God is our source of strength. I can't never denied this FACT but to me my kids also my source of strength. Why? Because whenever I feel like want to give up for examples my job due to its' pressure and demand, I will think of my  kids happy face and what will happen if I quit. They will lost the smile of happiness and I don't want that happened.. You see what I mean, they existence give me a new meaningful purpose in life and it give me such strength to ensure they will have a better life than mine. 

Another examples, When I feel like I can't stand the marriage life any longer (1st thing 1st, touch wood..nauzubillah), I will think of my kids happiness and that give me new strength to fight for my marriage because I want my kids to have a good family... Often enough I stumbles upon hardness that took away all my energy to fight that I am glad I have my precious kids to keep me re-charge and resume fighting.. But I don't have to elaborate more about it because any person called mum or dad understand this feeling..

Did I bored you up already?? With this boring topic, I guess I did.. Hahaha! Okay, better stop now or else you might blacklisted me for being a super boring blog-post.. Huhuhu, please NO..(",)v

Hasta la entrada sigiente, bye!

Ungrateful People

When you help someone or doing a favor for someone, what do expect from them? Why you do it for them? Is it because you want to help them sincerely or is it because you have to help them or is it because you want them to return the favor? I guess everyone must have their own reason on doing so right? Well, today posting is not about other people but myself because I feel like someone is using me and took my soft side for granted.

Image By Mr. Google

Whenever I am doing favor for other people or helping other people, I always remind myself to do it sincerely so that I won't feel any hard feeling or offense once the deed done. But I am just human being that sometimes I will feel angry to those people I helped because of their tendency of forgetting my help/favor and treating me like a tramp! 

How do you feel when people you help was so sweet to you when they need help and once they got it and solved their problem, they will treated you indifferently? Honestly, I will feel pretty mad and angry that I won't care even if I mention my favor to them, that I seem like not sincerely in helping them at all. That's me because I don't really like ungrateful people! To me they are like a parasite, who will only use us and then kill us in the end..

I always remind myself to never ever forget people who help me no matter during my good or bad  time. I always remind myself not to become one of those ungrateful people because I know how it feel to be treated like a trash by those you help and I don't people who help me feel that. It's not like I am judging those people because I am just expressing what I feel due to this kind of people manners. Maybe they have their own reason for behaving like that but still to me it's really heartless to treat people who once help you like a trash no matter whatever the reason..

An ungrateful man is like a hog under a tree eating acorns, but never looking up to see where they come from. ~ Timothy Dexter

It is another fault if he be ungrateful, but it is mine if I do not give. To find one thankful man, I will oblige a great many that are not so. ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

When we are grateful for the good we already have, we attract more good into our life. On the other hand, when we are ungrateful, we tend to shut ourselves off from the good we might otherwise experience. ~Margaret Stortz