Little Notebook With Thousand Memory

My little notebook..

This morning I was rummaged through the kitchen cabinet when I found something belonged to me that missing few years ago wrapped with newspaper & hidden among the dishes & glassware. It used to be my handy notebook where I pour out my sadness, my disappointment, my tears  & my wishes but I lost it and never able to trace it until this morning. (Actually, it was an autograph book that I turned into notebook)

I stopped my activities, go the living hall and started reading whatever I've wrote down in the note book and then the tears started to pour unconsciously. Every single words written in this book reminded me of my hard time during the early years of my marriage. Every pages was written with a poem that pictured my feeling during those year and the content was really personal to me. I lost track of time while reading it and I don't even notice that I cried out loud until my hubby asked me, " What happened? Why are you crying?'

"Nothing important. It's just that this note of mine make me cry." I explain to him.

"What note? It's must really touching if it make you cry." Hubby teases me.

"This note," I showed it to him. 

"How did you find it?," he asked me with guilty look on his face.. Nah, kedapatan suda siapa yang kasi tapuk..

"I found it in our kitchen cabinet, wrapped with newspaper & hidden very well among the glassware," I said to him before adding, "it's okay. I don't mad at all but this note is really personal. I am just glad I found it again." 

Years ago, I was too shy and ashamed to share my problem especially something concerned with my marriage with other people including my family that caused me to undergo a very critical emotion breakdown. Then a friend of mine advised me not to bottle up my feeling/emotion to myself. She said if I can't talk about it, I can write it down in a book or maybe a piece of paper to ease down the pressure in my heart and mind. This kind of therapy really worked for me and this note is one of the media where I channel my worries and problem..

Unlike most people who preferred to burn this kind of books/note/diaries, I keep all of mine not because I can't let it go but more about the sentimental value to me. This little notebook really hold thousand of memory that I will cherish. Though most of it about the bitter time I've encountered but still it's precious because I learn a lots of lesson during those bitter day of mine..

What will you do if you found something that remind you about your misery? Will you burn it or maybe bury it or will you keep it as a reminder that you are a survivor?