My Mom Only Have One eye

Good day everyone! Just want to clear up the title above..Actually the title is referring to the inspirational story ( as below) that I found in academictips.org which I want to point out my own view. Yeah, it's the same website again..Okay, 1st thing 1st; please read the full the full story below but for those who have a soft heart like mine, please prepare your tissue box because you will definitely shed your tear since the story is really touching..

My mom only had one eye. I hated her… She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students and teachers to support the family.

There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed.

How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said, ‘EEEE, your mom only has one eye!’

I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, ‘ If you’re only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?’

My mom did not respond… I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings.

I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.

Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts. Then one day, my Mother came to visit me. She hadn’t seen me in years and she didn’t even meet her grandchildren.

When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, ‘How dare you come to my house and scare my children!’ GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!’

And to this, my mother quietly answered, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,’ and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.

My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

‘My dearest son,

I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and scared your children.

I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I’m sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.

You see……..when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine.

I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

With all my love to you,

Your mother.’

 

Image by Mr. Google

We have to admit that story as above did happened in reality. Often enough a daughter or a son tended to forget or even worst to deny their parent existence due to their physical deficiency and their poverty. You know, it's like our very own folklore "Si Tanggang" who is ashamed of his mother appearance and poverty that turned into rock in the end of the story.

The story remind me of my own embarrassment of my mother when I was in primary school. Well, I have described my mother in my Special Entry For Mother's Day (paragraph 3) and that was the reason of my embarrassment. I was in standard 4 that time when I learned the embarrassment feeling of my mother because my friends always boasted up about their mother good being and merit. I will only listened to them and never said a thing about my mother because I knew the fact very well that my mother is just an ordinary kampung women.

As always, I will involved in prizes and awards presentation day because I was one of the presentee and normally I wouldn't mind my mother to come but that year I was nagging my father to come instead of my mother because I don't want my friend to meet my kampungan mother and realized the reason why I never bother to interfere in their conversation. 

"Why don't you want her to attend it? She was the one who attended it before this," my father asked.

"I don't want my friend to laugh on me because I have a very kampung mother!" I blurted it to my father. He was shocked and speechless. At that time I don't care about anyone feeling but mind.. Betul-betul buduh kan..Then my father realized what is going on in my heart, so he talked to me and those talk will always stick in my heart because it was the reason why I will always proud of my mother.

"Nung, when you were just a baby, you always fell sick and always admitted to hospital because you were born pre-matured. Everyone including me thought that sooner or later you will leave us. But, your mother never gave up hope on you. She stayed by your side, accompany you in the hospital and praying that you will live and you did make it. You were so tiny, weak and having this generic eyes problem (in Malay they called it "juling air",  a condition where your eye move when you stare at something for certain time and it will turn to normal once you blink your eye) like your brother but she was still proud of giving birth all of you. You see, other people might have a very beautiful and perfect children but in your mother eyes,  in our eye all of you is perfect, a special gift from God. She sacrifice her life and her time for you and still you ashamed of her? What do you feel if your mother feel ashamed of you just because of those generic problem?" My father asked me after a very long-meaningful speech.

  

I was gobsmacked and I cried very hard after that speech of my father. I went to my mother and asked for forgiveness for ever feel ashamed of her. Since then those feeling no longer crossed my mind anymore because I am proud of my mother no matter what. I only thought of her sacrifice and love for us that beyond word.

That's why I love to read and hear inspirational story because it help me to realize my mistake and learn from it. The story above remind me of my foolishness in the past and make me realize all over again the unconditional love that my parent have bestowed upon me and I hope that this story will make you realize of your parent unconditional love too.. Hmmm, siapa cakap time hari ibu atau hari bapa saja kita boleh cakap pasal pengorbanan dorang kan..

P/S: You might already know this story but as always me too want to point out my view..hahaha, penyibuk betul kan.. (^_^)V

Visit To Uptown Mines

Since my hubby doing this replica sunglasses business, our life turn out to be a bit hectic than usual because he likes to drag us with him while meeting with his supplier and customer. He said he feel more comfortable doing his business with our presence because it's give him such motivation looking at us especially our kiddo happy face.

Last Saturday hubby brought us along to do a survey of sunglasses price at the Uptown Mines and also to survey whether any of those merchants at Uptown Mines have this specific model that requested by lots of his customer. Well, that was our 1st visitation to Uptown Mines and I was a bit shocked and awed because it's spacious area!! 

"Kita nak explore whole area ke Ling?" I asked hubby after viewing the Uptown Mines area from the place we parked our car. You know, we have to park 500 meter from the site because the parking site are full!

"Why? Takut penat ke?" he mocked me. 

"Me? No way! It's you I am concern with. Larat ke awak bawa perut tu?" I mocked him back.. Hahaha, what a bad wife I am kan..(*wink2)

So, we started our "journey" at 9.30pm and done looking around the area around 11pm. Pheww, it was really tiresome. We were all soaked with sweat!  Gosh, that will be the 1st and last time I go there with my kiddo because they are doing their mischief all the way, making me feel like I want to shout "DIAM!!". Luckily hubby was patient enough to bear our kiddo manner. 

Well this uptown is quite happening than Uptown Shah Alam because of the spacious and open area and you can find lots of stuff there. Of course my attention mostly focus to the woman stuff and accessories while my hubby was busy looking at the sunglasses shop. Though our journey was tiresome and annoying because of our kiddo manner, but I was having fun time viewing the various selection of clothes and handbag with affordable price though I didn't bought anything for myself that.. night. I only bought some stuff for my kiddo.. Lain kali la shopping bilang hubby sa..huhuhuhu. Nasib baik kena belanja makan.. (^_^) V

Not much pics was taken on that night because the camera batteries went off. hubby said he forgot to recharge the batteries..Grrrrr... Plus, the pics quality is terribly poor.. 

Elan said,"cantik giler.."

Ni budak mesti mo kena pegang tangan kalu tidak swimming suda dia dalam tu tasik

Kepenatan tapi buli juga senyum kunun =P

Eyas with his new spek, bought at Mines Uptown

Yo..Yo.. Shasha with her hip hop pose 

 

My other two boys couldn't pose since they already off to the la la land just after we reached our home that night..

Okay..Okay.. I know it start to bore you all.. Even hubby pun cakap,"boring stuff macam tu pun nak share juga.." Malam ni peluk bantal saja la ko hubby.. Have a wonderful Sunday!

Disappointment To Happy Time With Family!

Phewww.. I am tired but since my finger still have the energy to tapping on my keyboard, I am gonna ranting for a while before I go off to dream land..(*wink2)

So as I promised, this entry is about what happened on last Sunday from A to Z, so grip yourself, take a deep breathe and get ready for my miles long entry =P. Just joking! 

Last Sunday, as always I woke up at 7.30am because my eldest son have a football training at 8.00 am. My hubby still sleeping because he stayed up until dawn, doing his advertising at Mudah.com, Ebay and updating  his blog-shop but he promised to wake up before 1.30pm to help me with the house-core and then attending the Oreo Daddy Dunk Event. Well guess what? He overslept! He only woke up at 2.30pm after I sprinkle LOTS of water to him! ( served him right!). 

I thought we could go off to One Utama Mall right after hubby have his lunch but then a call from a customer, requesting him to do C.O.D to Kota Kemuning, Shah Alam altered my plan again. I was already fuming up since I really want to attend that event but since my hubby don't want to lose any customer and more customer mean more money, we decided to do the C.O.D and then go straight to that event.

It's took us 25 hours to pick up the Goods from our supplier at Putra Perdana, 1 and half hour driving to kota Kemuning and then another 1 and half hour rushing to One Utama Mall. We reached One Utama mall around 7.35pm, too late to attend the event! 

"Don't mad. Mungkin takde rezeki," hubby try to comfort me when he saw my sulking face.

"I am not mad. I am just upset. You know how excited I am with this aren't you?" I replied.

"Maybe we should leave then," hubby suggested when he saw my mood was not getting better. I feel a bit guilty and ashamed for acting like a kid. It was Father's day and I should expressed my gratitude to him for being such a wonderful father to our kids instead of behaving like a kids. My attitude reminded me of my daughter.. Mak borek, anak rintik. =D

"Nope. We're going to explore One Utama! First thing first; MAKAN, " I said to hubby with smiley face which make my kids shouted "HORRAY!" and drew people attention to us. Who said I can't be the considerate wife? Well, we ate then we walks around One Utama mall until our feet ached, only then we went  back home.

HAHAHA, you see nothing BIG really happened. It's just my disappointment turn into happy time for my hubby, my kids and me! Macam si guns cakap, next time ada peluang juga ba kan..

Okay, bed time! Jadi cuci mata with our pics took on that day kio though not much pics was snapped on that day since we are too shy to pose in crowded place.

1st meal: Rice with Penang Asam pedas Udang

"Kitty's smile" My daughter said..

2nd meal: Rice with Fried chicken with salted egg ~ sodap butul!

Nah, buli jadi model ka ni? Hahaha, teda harapan..

Hubby control hensem kunun..

Candid pic!

Hubby said wanna put this in his blog-shop.. Sori kio daling, sa putung trip dulu..hahaha

P/S:- hubby punya gambar sikit sebab dia jadi photographer terhormat that day! (^_^) V

Kiddo Tantrum & Mommy worries

Woahh.. It's almost 3 days since my last update huh? The truth is I have so many thing I want to type down but I have no free time to do so since I am  busy with my overload task at office and  tagging along my hubby delivering order around Puchong and KL for the past 3 day.

Firstly regarding the Oreo Daddy Dunk Event that I said gonna attend. Guess what? We didn't manage to reach OU on time and missed the event! I was so damn sad and upset with my hubby because it was his fault that I missed the event! It was Father's Day on that day, so it's really mean of me if I explode right? So I just calm myself down and think positively. Moreover, it's not like my hubby did it on purpose. Well, some thing cannot always happened according to our plan. But, yes there is BUT because the story continuous and you have to wait my entry tonight..(*wink2)

My main content for today is about my youngest son who is showing his new side of tantrum that make me so damn worried and irritated at the same time. Since he turned to 2 year old, he always shouting and throwing things to his sibling and even to my hubby and me. Last Monday, he threw my other hand-phone and caused a bump on my daughter head. Before that he threw my hubby hand-phone ( luckily it survived) and before that he threw his food that make my hubby smacked his hand. He even tried to threw his bicycle toward his sister once! 

I asked his nanny how was he doing in her care and she told me that he was a good kid and have no problem taking care of him. So I am totally clueless on why he acted like that at home! My hubby said it's normal changes for a toddler of 2 years. Maybe it's true because I have read an article that said at 2 years a toddler became aware of what other people/bigger people can do and they became upset and throwing tantrum when they unable to accomplish those tasks.

I have asked my mother  and in law advice and both of them told me to stay calm and don't start panic because they said my youngest son is in a stage of learning a lot of new things that sometime made him upset when he couldn't do it right. They said all I need to do is to observe him so that he will not do something harmful to himself. I even bring him to see a pediatrician and they too said the same things.Well, both advice sound as same as the article I have read. 

My daughter also have bad temper but it only show when she was almost 4 years old but my youngest son already show them though he is only 2 years old. Right now I am trying the best to calm down and using a soothing words whenever he is angry and upset (as my mom and in law advised) to avoid any other consequence. However, I miss my smiling prince..(*sigh)

Happy moment with my prince of smiling

 So, mummies out there, have you ever face the same situation as mine? How do you cope with it? Please comment and share with me ok.. Ya, sa memang muka tembok kalau bab2 minta nasihat, hihihi.. You know, as Malay proverb proclaimed, ' MALU BERTANYA SESAT JALAN' so I have to ask if i don't know and right now I am truly lost.

That's all for now. Wait for my entry about what exactly happened on last Sunday. Adios! 

P/S: -  I took my 45min morning break to update my entry and stuffing FOOD in my hungry tummy (^_^)V

      

It's Middle Of Month Yet I Am Already Broke!

I am an account/administration executive in my company and I did very well in my job but when comes to my own (personal not family) financial management, I think I am the worst!Why? Because I couldn't resist spending my money at KFC, McDonald, Food Stall, Restaurant etc concerned with food! Hahahaha, Gotcha! The title is just for fun but still a bit related to my entry content, so keep reading.. Muka tembok betul kan suruh2 orang terus membaca..

Normally I am a bit fussy in buying stuff especial if those stuffs are expensive. I compared prices before I purchase something and I am glad because I am not one of those who fanatic/like/love branded items. You know, branded items normally cost equal to my half month salary which I use to buy more item and to me that's really a wasteful! But that's just my opinion and it's differ from one person to another on how they spend their money.. People said, "Duit Aku, Suka Hati Aku la"

However, I never been fussy in spending my money over foods because I love to eat! Now I am broke, almost broke because since earlier month of June my hubby, my kids and I always dine out at this local restaurant called , which is located nearby our flat area (15min driving) that served a very delicious and affordable meal sets for family. Well, it's supposed to be affordable but imagined what happen if you dine out everyday with costs around RM25-RM40 per day? It's only for dinner not yet included my expenses over lunch and junk food! 

Last night I told my hubby,"Ling, our meal monthly budget over limit suda. Malam besok we cook la."

"Abis duit pasal makan takpe.. Weekend we cook okay," he replied nonchalantly. Haiya, like me, he too love foods.. That's why he got that bloated stomach! How I wish my purse is as bloated as his stomach, HAHAHAHA! If you read this hubby, please don't get mad with your darling wife kio.. (^_^)V

But to tell the truth, I face this problem every months and still survive! I don't mind spending money on foods because foods bring my family together. We all (my hubby, my kids and me) love foods and eating out together is one of our favorite time. Just see our happy faces in pics below (taken on 16/06/2011) while and after dinner:-

Even my youngest son enjoying his food!

Hubby and our princess - inseparable! Psst..Did you notice his stomach?

Peace Y'all!

My daughter whine,"Asyik2 ambil gambar! Nak makan pun tak boleh!"

Licin..!

As hubby said,"duit boleh dicari, perut yang lapar isi duluan.." So, I never regret spending money over foods because I know that we can always find honest way to earn money! At the same time I always told my kids to be grateful because they can eat nice food and never forget all of those unlucky people who live in poverty and never have the privilege they have. I hate people who waste food intentionally! Nah, mo start babbling suda ni so better I stop when I still coherent..Muahahaha..

Okay, I haven't wash my kiddo uniform yet and my hubby wanna use our PC,so I will leave you all with this pantun melayu that you might already know:-

GENDANG GENDUT TALI KECAPI,

KENYANG PERUT SENANG HATI!

P/S:-Sorry for the not so good quality of pics since it taken with my HP camera (2.0mp).

We Too Can be The Lovey-Dovey Couple

Who say my hubby and I cannot be the lovey-dovey couple? Yeah, we are like Tom and Jerry but it doesn't mean we always on way. Plus I am ANTI-WAR, remember..

My hubby and I rarely show our affection in front of people and for that people always misunderstood us. Once my hubby relatives said to me, "korang ni nama je dah kahwin tapi lagak macam berkawan." My replies,"tak biasa la manja-manja kat depan orang cik." That's the truth. Most couple unashamedly show  their affection publicly but for my hubby and me, that kind of affection is exclusively ours and we don't need to show or even to boast up about it in public. 

Not only we feel awkward to show our affection in public, we have the same feeling even during taking pictures together. "Peluk la suami ko tu!!","Alahai, kaku nyer!", "Rapat la sikit!" I am used to all of this kind order because it's always shouted to us when my hubby and I taking picture together. I just can't show the affection in front of other people because doing it just like baring out my secret to public. Gosh, it's feel so embarrassing! 

However, my hubby and I had solved the awkward feeling when taking pics together since now we have our very own personal photographer.. Can you guess who is he? Hahaha, who else but my eldest son. We don't have to feel shy in front of him because he is our son! Now we too can pose as the lovey-dovey couple like pics below taken by my son last Sunday:-

My eldest son name this pic as "Mama & Papa with 2 monkey" so I said to  him,"If they are monkey then you are monkey big bro"

Do we qualify to be the lovey-dovey couple now??

 

See, we too can pose as the lovey-dovey couple.. Okay, it's 12.20 am already. So, got to stop ranting now but before that I wanna say thank you for all those who give me an advise/tips about my sensitive/allergis problem. Garzie mille kio!

P/S:-Nice shot for a 9 years old kiddo right? 

I Love You Mommy!

Yesterday, when my hubby and I went to cake shop to buy birthday cake for my youngest son, I noticed that lots of people at the cake shop ordered special cake for their mother..Well, no wonder since today is Mother's Day so my guess, those people gonna give their mother a party or maybe something nice in junction with this special day for mother all over the world.

So, what is your present to your mother on this special day? a cakes?  gold necklaces? A massage Machine? An expensive herbs? I guess you people must give something really nice to your mother, aren't you? Me? NO, I cannot afford all of those expensive stuff (except cake but my mother is far away at my village so it's not an option). Every year on this special day, I will call my mother and tell her how much I loves her and how grateful I am to have such a wonderful mother liker her. Yes, I know maybe in your eye, it's nothing and maybe you even think that it's not a perfect way to show my gratitude and affection to my mother yet to me it's special because the words I says come from the deepest of my heart where I keep all the precious word for important person like my mother..

My Beloved Mother

Nobody know exactly the best gift a mother might want but my mom once told me that a daughter will only know the perfect gift/reward a parent might want when they become a parent themselves.. At that time I don't understand her and I don't give a damn on her words meaning but now I do understand mom... Such a wisdom word from a woman that never went to school..Yep, that's my mother! She's not an educated woman, she can't write very well, she can 't even read and she is not as pretty or fashionable as others mother. Hehehehe, my mom wears "gonob" or "kain batik" and shirt/blouse with "selipar jepun" all her life. She don't know the words "make-up" and she loves to "monginggat". Yet, to me she is my perfect mother and I am proud that she is my mother.

Flower From Mr. Hubby!

As for me, I don't want a present, I don't even want a party or cake. I only want my kids to say " I loves you mommy " and my hubby to say " thanks for being a good mother " on this special day  and keep the words in their hearts for the rest of their life.. ( My hubby gives me a rose! I loves rose! Thanks hubby..)

For my mother, thank you for giving me life, for bringing me up and for always by my side through my good and bad times too.. I adores you and I loves you very much!

To all mother all over the world, Happy Mother's Day!

*Gonob : Printed sarong 

*Monginggat : Eating betel with areca nut

Happy Engagement Day Big Bro!

Today, my brother Jainudin Dunggi officially engaged to Miss Norshima Hashim. The event held at Kg. Patikang Keningau.. Sadly, I can't attended it since I didn't manage to get a affordable ticket on time and the only ticket available is on next Tuesday, so there is no point for me to buy it..

They have not yet uploaded the pics but my stepbrother, M. Yahya manage to upload one pic of it. Hey, my bro looked younger and dashing as ever wearing baju melayu! =P..

I still don't know the detailed of this event but soon I will find out via my personal informer - my mother la of course! Who else kan.. One thing for sure, my brother already converted to Islam. he is now a Mualaf like me..=) Welcome to the club big bro! 

Okay big bro, from a far I am sending  you the very best wishes of mine and praying for you the happiness of ever after! Congratulation!

MY MEMORY with LITTLE FINGERS

MY MEMORY with LITTLE FINGERS

Due Date : End of April 2011

Tagged by me: Lenn

( Interested & wanna join, please click the banner )

HAHAHAHAHA.. Writing about memories is one of my passion.. I can write pages about it so don't get bored and kio! Thanks Just for tagging me along..Okay here we go! Chaiyo chaiyo everyone!

I have four kids that I love more than anything.. My memories with them are priceless that I will cherished for the rest of my life no matter it's a bitter or sweet memories.. If I got all the time in this world I loves to shared all of it but for this entry i will shared my memories with my youngest son..

After I gave birth of my daughter, I decided that I don't want more kids and told my hubby that 3 is enough.. But I a just another mere human being to planned but above all God is the one who decide what the  best for us.. I was shocked to find out that I am pregnant again when my daughter was just 7 year old. Frankly, I feel a bit ashamed and scared when I got the news because my hubby have to resigned due to his company bad economic situation and some misunderstanding with his superior. At that time, I have just found another job with better salary and it's really a bad time to found out about my pregnancy..

I didn't go to clinic to do the monthly checking due to my works demand beside I was just started working.. My family financial situation were really bad and in the end I have to quit my job to take care of my kids since the daycare where we sent our kids won't tolerate our late payment anymore.. I was 4 months pregnant at  that time and my health really in bad condition.. My hubby and I pleaded to the daycare manager but they won't listen to us no matter what the excuses

My 2nd son have to quit from attending the private kindergarten his brother used to attend due to our hardship to pay the expensive fee though the principal was against our decision. She said we can pay when we have money but my hubby was too proud to accept her offer.. After I quit from my job then only I went to the government clinic to do my monthly check-up.. My 1st check-up was okay, no problem and no complication except for my lack of hemoglobin in my blood..

However, I was shocked  when I was diagnosed with hypertension a.k.a high blood pressure during my 2nd visit while I am almost 6 month pregnant. They want to admit me to the ward for observation since my blood pressure is too high but I pleaded them not too and told them that maybe it was due to my family financial problem that stressed me up.. Such a relief when they allowed me to go home with condition where I must see the doctor whenever I feel dizzy..

However, I am not so lucky during my next appointment (7 months)where they admitted me to Hospital Serdang because of my high blood pressure.. I feel really bad to leave my kids with my hubby during that time since I know my hubby working day and night  to support our family and it;s mean he have to stay at home to take care of them.. I was discharged after 2 days at hospital with lots of medication. I hate pills but at that time I forced myself to consume all of those pills to make sure nothing bad will happen to me and my baby in my womb.

2 weeks later, I was admitted to the hospital again! This time the doctor want to hold me until I gave birth but I pleaded to them not to do so.. I explained my hard situation, hoping them to understand that maybe it's not as bad as they think it was, that my blood just risen due to my anxiety and pressure of thinking about my family situation.. At last they discharged me with warning..

2 weeks after that, on 7th may 2009, I was admitted again to hospital and this time I was going to give birth of my baby! I was 8 month ( ngam-ngam 32 weeks  ) at that time! I still remembered how scared I was and hoping that my hubby was with me.. I asked the nurse to call my hubby at his office to inform about my condition..

I was arrived at Hospital Serdang around noon and the doctor explained to me the situation that they have to force my labor because my blood pressure is too high even after they give me certain dose of medication. They said it was too dangerous for me and my baby to wait any longer. I asked them to do the best for my baby and me.. I was given the 1st dose of medication to expenditure my labor just after the doctor briefed me about my condition. After 2 hours, my delivery passage just opened about 3cm and my blood pressure risen drastically.. The doctor advised me to take the "epidural" before they give me the 2nd dose ( drugs to expenditure the labor ) to reduce the pain as well as to maintain my blood pressure.. I have to sign the permission paper all by myself because my hubby haven't arrived yet.

After 2 hours of the 2nd dose, the delivery passage were opened just about 6cm, far from the normal 10cm and they started to worry because I was getting weaker (my blood pressure is 200/95 )and my baby movement also lessen yet the heart beating still as strong as before. So they decided to give me the 3rd dose and after it if I still show no sign of giving birth then they will proceed with the caesarean as the last option.. All the time I prayed to God to give the baby and me the strength and I keep saying to my baby in my womb to be patient and stay with me..

Around 5.45pm, all of sudden I felt a sharp pain on my pelvis, so I called for the doctor and nurse. They rushed and checked on me and inform me to follow their instruction to push when they ask because I can't feel any pain or momentum that can signaled me to push like my past labor due to the epidural anesthetic they gave me. At that time I can barely hear them because i feel like fainting and everything around me got hazy and kinda blur but I still manage to follow their instruction and  give my all to push when they ask me.. Then, all I can remember was hearing my baby crying, the smell of blood,  the nurse voice saying " Haryati, open your eye. See you got a baby boy " and the seeing my baby face for the 1st time before I lost conscious.

When I opened my eyes again, I was still in the same room but with lots of wire attached to me and my flat stomach with panic.. Then the nurse came in with a bundle in her hand washed away all feel of insecurity in me. I asked the nurse what happened and the nurse said they almost lost me but miraculously I make it through yet they have to separate me from my baby for a day to observe my blood pressure.. Holding my baby in my arms and feeding him gave me all the strength and as always I cried and silently I thanked the almighty God for giving me chance to watch him grow up..

One & only pic I have of my 4th son - he was 2 days old

My baby was just 8 month when I gave birth of him but he was normal and okay.. He was born at 6.08pm on 7th May 2009 with 2.79kg in weight.. We spend another 2 weeks in the hospital because of my blood pressure.. Unlike his brothers and sister, he don't have G6PD.. He is such a adorable baby boy.. I don't have many picture of him taken when he was just a baby and all the pic I have of him taken by my sister in law ( thanks to them )..

I cherished all of my memories with every single of my pregnancy ( 4 kali tau ) but my last pregnancy with my prince of smiling, Eyas will be the one I remembered the most due to the difficulties and ordeal I been trough with my hubby at that time.. After I gave birth of my last baby, everything get better and better day after day.. My hubby  changed to be a better person, a better husband and most of all a wonderful father..

As for me, I thanks God for every single second he gave me in order  to watch and see my kids grow up especially my youngest son, my prince of smiling who always take away my pain and stress everytime I look into his smiling face..

Botak for the 1st time

He is photo friendly!

Smile that sparked my life

  

Eyas & me

 P/S:- Kan saya dah kata.. I can write long pages if it something about memories! 

        

Never too late

For the past few days, I have been seeking advice from much experienced people such as my own beloved mother, mom-in law and also from expert in child development beside doing my own reading and searching via the books or internet about related topics of child development and misbehave. I am really grateful and feel blessed because I have a very  understanding and helpful mother whom I can discuss my deepest concern especially  about my kids problem.

After thinking for few days about my second son changes of behavior, at last I listed down few ways to understand and tackle down the main reason behind his drastic misbehave.

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1. I am going to talk more with him to show him that I cares about his doing. My mother said, it's the best way to bonding with our kids. 
2. Listen to them instead  of asking them to shut up. Expert said that children who can speak up and express themselves freely will developed into a very confident kind of person and one way of achieve  this is by  listening to them whenever they want to tell us something. 
3. Prevent any kind of serious beating / punishment in future. Compassion and understanding worked more effectively to children than physical beating / punishment.

Thinking back, I never give heed about talking and listening to my kids before this. Ashamedly, I have to admitted that sometimes I did snapped to them to shut up whenever they started to talk more than I like them to be especially when I am tired. After listening to my mom and expert advise I feel terribly awful about my own behavior.. 

I wanna give all of my best to to this three thing 1st and I really hope that it will somehow show some positive changes in my kids attitude and behavior.. I don't want to lost faith yet because I know I can do it despite of my own weakness.. My hubby and I have discussed this matter seriously and we are both agreed that for some reason we too are guilty and we both will work together to make sure we do the above mention stuff accordingly.. If you face the same problem, I guess it's never too late to do something for better...

I always lost track of time when talking about my kids.. Well, what can I say.. They are my pride and joy and I guess all mom will say the same.

Am I totally a failure??

As I thought my day will end up as happy as I was this morning then I am totally wrong because right after my hubby fetched my kids from their nanny house, he gave me a bad, real bad news to me that almost make me faint!

My 2nd son took the money that suppose to pay his KAFA monthly fee from his brother without telling him and lost the money at his school this afternoon! This morning I entrusted my eldest son to pay their bus fare and KAFA monthly fee because I trust him and he was the one who normally help me out with the task since my hubby and I don't have much time to go to their KAFA and pay the fee by ourselves. As always, I put the money in sealed envelope and wrote their name on it. There were three envelope, one for the bus fare and the other two was for their KAFA monthly. 

I never thought that something like this will happened since my eldest son never fail to do the responsibility I gave to him yet today he forgot to pay his brother KAFA monthly fee, and he decided to pay it tomorrow but my 2nd son took the money and lost it at the school ( dia cakap la..)

My eldest son said my 2nd son asked him not to tell about it but their nanny happened to know this and she showed my hubby the torn up envelope ( without them money ) and  told what happened to  my hubby when he fetch them at her house.

I smelled something wasn't right when I saw his grim face. He locked up the door and ordered our 2 boys to go to their room while he searched for the rattan. I asked him what's wrong but no responed and I only get the hint when he started beating my 2nd son. Oh my God, I just can believed when my hubby showed the torn up envelope.. My mind went blank for a while and I am unaware that my hubby is beating my second son.. I only snapped back to reality when I heard him yelling for my help then only I grabbed both my son and asked my hubby to stop.. I was crying and pleading to him not to lost his temper! I remind him that beating them won't solve any thing..

I asked my son what happened. He admitted that he took the money without telling his brother but he said he never intended to use it.. He said he just want to keep it but one of his friend saw it and very curious what was in it.. In the end my son said, the money went missing while he went out and the only left behind was the envelope..He said he already told his teacher about it..

After chilled down, my hubby told him that he will go to his school tomorrow and asked the teacher about it to confirm that he is telling us the truth.. I really do hope that he is telling the truth..

I couldn't even enjoy my dinner because I am so distraught with this problem.. I couldn't find any reason why my son acted like this since I always trying my best to fulfill their needs.. Now I really understand how my parent felt when facing my mischief..

I couldn't even blamed my hubby since I know him very well and thing like this always  wake up his temper  yet I still mad at him for beating my son like that and I am not agreed with his way to tackle this problem.. To tell the truth, I feel like I am the one should be blamed for.. ( Sigh )

I don't know what should I do.. This is really a big blow to my confidence as a mother.. I even asked myself whether I am such failure in everything.. I sucked big time in my life and now I even feel like am totally a failure of being a mother.. I thought I already gave everything I have for my kids  but when this happened I started to question whether did I or not??

My Sister In Law Engagement Day

At last, My hubby finished updating the pics taken during my sister in law engagement day! It's not a pro movie okay but i guess it's still okay and after all it's just for fun actually. Well, for your information, Youtube disabled the audio because it is matched with 3rd party contents so maybe it will be a bit boring watching the movie without the music!

Okay, let me tell you people what I learn on that day about this majlis merisik & bertunang.. First thing I learn is the Hantaran from the woman side should be more than the Hantaran from the man's side (Sorry, I don't really know what is the word in English, so if anybody happen to know it, please do tell me..=P).. I guess all of you already know about that aren't you but ashamedly I have to admit I don't know since I never undergo this kind of event myself.. 

My sister in law choose the color pink as her theme color.. Nice because it's my favorite color too! Girly and sweet..  And the concept was more into evening tea time so all of the foods served was suitable for tea time.. My hubby and I contributes a brownies for her event.. All of my hubby siblings did contribute something for her event but I don't know what it was.. Hmmm, rahsia dorang bilang..

I also learn about what they called as setahun hidup ( mean that their engagement can be prolong until they can manage to tie it with marriage) & setahun mati ( mean that their engagement is fixed into 1 year only and they should get marry after 1 year of engagement). My sister in law engagement was set into setahun hidup.. Seriously, I never heard any of this because my marriage itself was what they called as "kahwin koboi" and we did not need to undergo this process.. Hahaha, ngam la sebab kami punya hubungan pun macam Tom & Jerry kan.. Main perang2 tu biasa suda bagi kami..

Overall, I was happy because I attended my sister in law engagement day despite of certain people appearance on that day. To tell the truth, I no longer have any harsh feeling towards them.. This kind of event are good because it gathered all of my hubby families and though I don't know them well but I am happy to get to know them..

That's all I manage to write down from my topsy-turvy mind.. Please enjoy the homemade  movie slide below and don't forget to leave any comment okay!

I am upset!

I am not kind of person who get angry very easily! Patience has always been my best friend since I got mixed with my in law family 10 years ago. You can't imagined how many times I almost explode yet I took grip of my anger and unleashed it somewhere else.However, I am not a Saint,  I am just a human being and my patience does have a limit just like other ordinary human being!

It's been a while this particular persons ( let me called them A & B ) tried to make me look a villain when the truth is I am the victim of their materialistic attitude. This feud started 2 years ago and until now they still  hold grunge with me. My kids and me was banned from interfering in A life. We don't even allowed to pay him visit while B was the one who quarreled with my hubby and you know what, it's all because of money! 

I never hold  grunge to any of them because I realized that me too contributed to that feud. I amnot sure about my hubby because he is a stubborn person. My hubby, A & B were stubborn kind of person and they have an ego as high as a mountain! 

I am angry and upset because I have to stay back  from attending any occasion whenever A or B will attend it! Tomorrow is my favorite sister in law engagement day. Last night my mom in  law called and told us that B will arrived at her place tonight . She asked is it okay for us?  This really irritating  & frustrating because I have no problem with B anymore! If B want to live with the past and her grunge, it's her problem not mine! I already forgave her for putting my kids and me out from A life.

The worst thing of all is how B tried to humiliated us through her comment in Facebook. Though it's not directly to us but who else she referred as "ungrateful" than us who in debt with A!  can't imagined how can she comment to other people about kindness and goodness when she never find in her heart to be kind to her own flesh and blood.

This is what i hate the most with my husband family! They are too materialistic! No money, No talks! That is their motto. This is the reason why I feel ashamed to introduced them to my kind heart family.. My family might not materially wealthy but morally they are and I am proud of my family back in Sabah!

I have shed lots of tears because of my in law family.. I hope my hubby can reconcile with A & B and end up any worthless feud between them.. Isn't blood thicker than water?  I prays that someday they will find in their heart the willing to forgive and forget..