Am I totally a failure??

As I thought my day will end up as happy as I was this morning then I am totally wrong because right after my hubby fetched my kids from their nanny house, he gave me a bad, real bad news to me that almost make me faint!

My 2nd son took the money that suppose to pay his KAFA monthly fee from his brother without telling him and lost the money at his school this afternoon! This morning I entrusted my eldest son to pay their bus fare and KAFA monthly fee because I trust him and he was the one who normally help me out with the task since my hubby and I don't have much time to go to their KAFA and pay the fee by ourselves. As always, I put the money in sealed envelope and wrote their name on it. There were three envelope, one for the bus fare and the other two was for their KAFA monthly. 

I never thought that something like this will happened since my eldest son never fail to do the responsibility I gave to him yet today he forgot to pay his brother KAFA monthly fee, and he decided to pay it tomorrow but my 2nd son took the money and lost it at the school ( dia cakap la..)

My eldest son said my 2nd son asked him not to tell about it but their nanny happened to know this and she showed my hubby the torn up envelope ( without them money ) and  told what happened to  my hubby when he fetch them at her house.

I smelled something wasn't right when I saw his grim face. He locked up the door and ordered our 2 boys to go to their room while he searched for the rattan. I asked him what's wrong but no responed and I only get the hint when he started beating my 2nd son. Oh my God, I just can believed when my hubby showed the torn up envelope.. My mind went blank for a while and I am unaware that my hubby is beating my second son.. I only snapped back to reality when I heard him yelling for my help then only I grabbed both my son and asked my hubby to stop.. I was crying and pleading to him not to lost his temper! I remind him that beating them won't solve any thing..

I asked my son what happened. He admitted that he took the money without telling his brother but he said he never intended to use it.. He said he just want to keep it but one of his friend saw it and very curious what was in it.. In the end my son said, the money went missing while he went out and the only left behind was the envelope..He said he already told his teacher about it..

After chilled down, my hubby told him that he will go to his school tomorrow and asked the teacher about it to confirm that he is telling us the truth.. I really do hope that he is telling the truth..

I couldn't even enjoy my dinner because I am so distraught with this problem.. I couldn't find any reason why my son acted like this since I always trying my best to fulfill their needs.. Now I really understand how my parent felt when facing my mischief..

I couldn't even blamed my hubby since I know him very well and thing like this always  wake up his temper  yet I still mad at him for beating my son like that and I am not agreed with his way to tackle this problem.. To tell the truth, I feel like I am the one should be blamed for.. ( Sigh )

I don't know what should I do.. This is really a big blow to my confidence as a mother.. I even asked myself whether I am such failure in everything.. I sucked big time in my life and now I even feel like am totally a failure of being a mother.. I thought I already gave everything I have for my kids  but when this happened I started to question whether did I or not??