MY MEMORY with LITTLE FINGERS

MY MEMORY with LITTLE FINGERS

Due Date : End of April 2011

Tagged by me: Lenn

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HAHAHAHAHA.. Writing about memories is one of my passion.. I can write pages about it so don't get bored and kio! Thanks Just for tagging me along..Okay here we go! Chaiyo chaiyo everyone!

I have four kids that I love more than anything.. My memories with them are priceless that I will cherished for the rest of my life no matter it's a bitter or sweet memories.. If I got all the time in this world I loves to shared all of it but for this entry i will shared my memories with my youngest son..

After I gave birth of my daughter, I decided that I don't want more kids and told my hubby that 3 is enough.. But I a just another mere human being to planned but above all God is the one who decide what the  best for us.. I was shocked to find out that I am pregnant again when my daughter was just 7 year old. Frankly, I feel a bit ashamed and scared when I got the news because my hubby have to resigned due to his company bad economic situation and some misunderstanding with his superior. At that time, I have just found another job with better salary and it's really a bad time to found out about my pregnancy..

I didn't go to clinic to do the monthly checking due to my works demand beside I was just started working.. My family financial situation were really bad and in the end I have to quit my job to take care of my kids since the daycare where we sent our kids won't tolerate our late payment anymore.. I was 4 months pregnant at  that time and my health really in bad condition.. My hubby and I pleaded to the daycare manager but they won't listen to us no matter what the excuses

My 2nd son have to quit from attending the private kindergarten his brother used to attend due to our hardship to pay the expensive fee though the principal was against our decision. She said we can pay when we have money but my hubby was too proud to accept her offer.. After I quit from my job then only I went to the government clinic to do my monthly check-up.. My 1st check-up was okay, no problem and no complication except for my lack of hemoglobin in my blood..

However, I was shocked  when I was diagnosed with hypertension a.k.a high blood pressure during my 2nd visit while I am almost 6 month pregnant. They want to admit me to the ward for observation since my blood pressure is too high but I pleaded them not too and told them that maybe it was due to my family financial problem that stressed me up.. Such a relief when they allowed me to go home with condition where I must see the doctor whenever I feel dizzy..

However, I am not so lucky during my next appointment (7 months)where they admitted me to Hospital Serdang because of my high blood pressure.. I feel really bad to leave my kids with my hubby during that time since I know my hubby working day and night  to support our family and it;s mean he have to stay at home to take care of them.. I was discharged after 2 days at hospital with lots of medication. I hate pills but at that time I forced myself to consume all of those pills to make sure nothing bad will happen to me and my baby in my womb.

2 weeks later, I was admitted to the hospital again! This time the doctor want to hold me until I gave birth but I pleaded to them not to do so.. I explained my hard situation, hoping them to understand that maybe it's not as bad as they think it was, that my blood just risen due to my anxiety and pressure of thinking about my family situation.. At last they discharged me with warning..

2 weeks after that, on 7th may 2009, I was admitted again to hospital and this time I was going to give birth of my baby! I was 8 month ( ngam-ngam 32 weeks  ) at that time! I still remembered how scared I was and hoping that my hubby was with me.. I asked the nurse to call my hubby at his office to inform about my condition..

I was arrived at Hospital Serdang around noon and the doctor explained to me the situation that they have to force my labor because my blood pressure is too high even after they give me certain dose of medication. They said it was too dangerous for me and my baby to wait any longer. I asked them to do the best for my baby and me.. I was given the 1st dose of medication to expenditure my labor just after the doctor briefed me about my condition. After 2 hours, my delivery passage just opened about 3cm and my blood pressure risen drastically.. The doctor advised me to take the "epidural" before they give me the 2nd dose ( drugs to expenditure the labor ) to reduce the pain as well as to maintain my blood pressure.. I have to sign the permission paper all by myself because my hubby haven't arrived yet.

After 2 hours of the 2nd dose, the delivery passage were opened just about 6cm, far from the normal 10cm and they started to worry because I was getting weaker (my blood pressure is 200/95 )and my baby movement also lessen yet the heart beating still as strong as before. So they decided to give me the 3rd dose and after it if I still show no sign of giving birth then they will proceed with the caesarean as the last option.. All the time I prayed to God to give the baby and me the strength and I keep saying to my baby in my womb to be patient and stay with me..

Around 5.45pm, all of sudden I felt a sharp pain on my pelvis, so I called for the doctor and nurse. They rushed and checked on me and inform me to follow their instruction to push when they ask because I can't feel any pain or momentum that can signaled me to push like my past labor due to the epidural anesthetic they gave me. At that time I can barely hear them because i feel like fainting and everything around me got hazy and kinda blur but I still manage to follow their instruction and  give my all to push when they ask me.. Then, all I can remember was hearing my baby crying, the smell of blood,  the nurse voice saying " Haryati, open your eye. See you got a baby boy " and the seeing my baby face for the 1st time before I lost conscious.

When I opened my eyes again, I was still in the same room but with lots of wire attached to me and my flat stomach with panic.. Then the nurse came in with a bundle in her hand washed away all feel of insecurity in me. I asked the nurse what happened and the nurse said they almost lost me but miraculously I make it through yet they have to separate me from my baby for a day to observe my blood pressure.. Holding my baby in my arms and feeding him gave me all the strength and as always I cried and silently I thanked the almighty God for giving me chance to watch him grow up..

One & only pic I have of my 4th son - he was 2 days old

My baby was just 8 month when I gave birth of him but he was normal and okay.. He was born at 6.08pm on 7th May 2009 with 2.79kg in weight.. We spend another 2 weeks in the hospital because of my blood pressure.. Unlike his brothers and sister, he don't have G6PD.. He is such a adorable baby boy.. I don't have many picture of him taken when he was just a baby and all the pic I have of him taken by my sister in law ( thanks to them )..

I cherished all of my memories with every single of my pregnancy ( 4 kali tau ) but my last pregnancy with my prince of smiling, Eyas will be the one I remembered the most due to the difficulties and ordeal I been trough with my hubby at that time.. After I gave birth of my last baby, everything get better and better day after day.. My hubby  changed to be a better person, a better husband and most of all a wonderful father..

As for me, I thanks God for every single second he gave me in order  to watch and see my kids grow up especially my youngest son, my prince of smiling who always take away my pain and stress everytime I look into his smiling face..

Botak for the 1st time

He is photo friendly!

Smile that sparked my life

  

Eyas & me

 P/S:- Kan saya dah kata.. I can write long pages if it something about memories!