Happy Engagement Day Big Bro!

Today, my brother Jainudin Dunggi officially engaged to Miss Norshima Hashim. The event held at Kg. Patikang Keningau.. Sadly, I can't attended it since I didn't manage to get a affordable ticket on time and the only ticket available is on next Tuesday, so there is no point for me to buy it..

They have not yet uploaded the pics but my stepbrother, M. Yahya manage to upload one pic of it. Hey, my bro looked younger and dashing as ever wearing baju melayu! =P..

I still don't know the detailed of this event but soon I will find out via my personal informer - my mother la of course! Who else kan.. One thing for sure, my brother already converted to Islam. he is now a Mualaf like me..=) Welcome to the club big bro! 

Okay big bro, from a far I am sending  you the very best wishes of mine and praying for you the happiness of ever after! Congratulation!

The Royal Wedding!

Maybe I am this entry is a bit late but still I want to voice out my POV about this most anticipate wedding of the year, The Royal Wedding Between Prince William & Kate Middleton!

Well, I just wanna say that the wedding is as what I imagined ; full and bind with protocol! Every single step was bound by protocol and there were no wonder since every Royal Wedding will be bound by the Palace protocol!

Even the 1st public kiss William & Kate shared was seem like bound by protocol! Muahahaha!

One more thing, I don't like kate's wedding dress at all! The gown was too "kembang" that it's prevent William to stand close to kate. Prince William have to stand  half meter from Kate just to make sure he will not step on her dress! What a jokes! They are married but cannot stand side to side closely due to that fact.. Shame on the designer of that dress to ignore such small fact.

However, thanks to Kate's flawless beauty that mesmerized me during the whole event that I missed that dress flaw until one of the host mention about William consideration of not stepping on Kate's dress. She was stunning! Prince William too amazingly handsome even with his almost bald head..=P

Well, no matter what I said I do hope they will happily ever after..

Image source: google.com

I Am Like A Flower

I am like a flower
Not sure of when I will die.
Not sure of when I will grow back again
When I am crushed with pain and cry.

I am not sure if I can hold myself up
When I ache with unbearable pain
What do I do when my petals fall off?
Do I go find them out in the rain?

What do I do when I'm not given enough water, to make it through the day?
What do I do when I look up in the sky?
And the sun doesn't show a ray?

I stand as tall as a flower would,
As long as I possible can.
I will stand and show my colors,
That is what I plan.

I may drupe and my petals may fall,
But that won't stop me from growing.
My love, honesty and beauty,
I will keep showing.

I am like a flower,
Strong and supreme.
I may be trampled on,
But I will never lose faith in my dreams. 

Poem Source : poetryamerica.com 

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What do you all think about the poem above? Do you really think you wanna be like a flower? I likes this poem but in reality I don't want to refer myself to a flower. I preferred myself to be like a tree or a coconut..Hahahaha, funny but I really do hope that I am like a coconut tree that useful even when it withered and dead. Yet, if I wanna be a flower, I want to be a white rose with thorn (a very sharp thorn indeed)that mirrored the pure and sincere personality yet strong enough to fight any intruder and obstacle.. (Hahaha, my hubby pretended to puke when he read this sentences)

However, I am happy with my being and I am grateful that I am human that gifted with mind to think and heart to feel. Well the poem above was just a beautiful metaphoric that pictured and described the thinking of the author and Gosh it's really  nice poem that able to lift up the spirit of a woman like me.

Through The Eyes Of Love - Ice castle (2010)

Inspiring teenage movies such as "Raise Your Voice", "Homeless To Havard" & the most recent one I have watched "Ice Castle" never disappointed me and as always all of this awesome movies come along with wonderful and inspiring song / soundtrack too..

IMDb.com

Last night, I was watching the Ice Castles ( 2010) and as always when I watched a good movie that carried me away, I shed my tears in the end of this movie..( It's actually re-make of the 1978 original movie by the same director ) I don't want to tell what this movie about because I am not reviewing this movie. I just wanna let you know that the soundtrack / song of this movie which is originally sang by Mellisa Manchester ( for the Ice Castle 1978 movie ) but then sang by Brit Nicole for the Ice Castle (2010) is really a nice song..

To tell the truth, I preferred the new version by Britt Nicole because it simply awesome than the original version ( Sorry Mellisa Manchester, but I think Britt Nicole gave this song a better recognition and life ). I am gonna asks my hubby to download this song for me tonight and put it in my play-list..

For the time being, please listen & enjoy yourself with the clip from youtube below:-

MY MEMORY with LITTLE FINGERS

MY MEMORY with LITTLE FINGERS

Due Date : End of April 2011

Tagged by me: Lenn

( Interested & wanna join, please click the banner )

HAHAHAHAHA.. Writing about memories is one of my passion.. I can write pages about it so don't get bored and kio! Thanks Just for tagging me along..Okay here we go! Chaiyo chaiyo everyone!

I have four kids that I love more than anything.. My memories with them are priceless that I will cherished for the rest of my life no matter it's a bitter or sweet memories.. If I got all the time in this world I loves to shared all of it but for this entry i will shared my memories with my youngest son..

After I gave birth of my daughter, I decided that I don't want more kids and told my hubby that 3 is enough.. But I a just another mere human being to planned but above all God is the one who decide what the  best for us.. I was shocked to find out that I am pregnant again when my daughter was just 7 year old. Frankly, I feel a bit ashamed and scared when I got the news because my hubby have to resigned due to his company bad economic situation and some misunderstanding with his superior. At that time, I have just found another job with better salary and it's really a bad time to found out about my pregnancy..

I didn't go to clinic to do the monthly checking due to my works demand beside I was just started working.. My family financial situation were really bad and in the end I have to quit my job to take care of my kids since the daycare where we sent our kids won't tolerate our late payment anymore.. I was 4 months pregnant at  that time and my health really in bad condition.. My hubby and I pleaded to the daycare manager but they won't listen to us no matter what the excuses

My 2nd son have to quit from attending the private kindergarten his brother used to attend due to our hardship to pay the expensive fee though the principal was against our decision. She said we can pay when we have money but my hubby was too proud to accept her offer.. After I quit from my job then only I went to the government clinic to do my monthly check-up.. My 1st check-up was okay, no problem and no complication except for my lack of hemoglobin in my blood..

However, I was shocked  when I was diagnosed with hypertension a.k.a high blood pressure during my 2nd visit while I am almost 6 month pregnant. They want to admit me to the ward for observation since my blood pressure is too high but I pleaded them not too and told them that maybe it was due to my family financial problem that stressed me up.. Such a relief when they allowed me to go home with condition where I must see the doctor whenever I feel dizzy..

However, I am not so lucky during my next appointment (7 months)where they admitted me to Hospital Serdang because of my high blood pressure.. I feel really bad to leave my kids with my hubby during that time since I know my hubby working day and night  to support our family and it;s mean he have to stay at home to take care of them.. I was discharged after 2 days at hospital with lots of medication. I hate pills but at that time I forced myself to consume all of those pills to make sure nothing bad will happen to me and my baby in my womb.

2 weeks later, I was admitted to the hospital again! This time the doctor want to hold me until I gave birth but I pleaded to them not to do so.. I explained my hard situation, hoping them to understand that maybe it's not as bad as they think it was, that my blood just risen due to my anxiety and pressure of thinking about my family situation.. At last they discharged me with warning..

2 weeks after that, on 7th may 2009, I was admitted again to hospital and this time I was going to give birth of my baby! I was 8 month ( ngam-ngam 32 weeks  ) at that time! I still remembered how scared I was and hoping that my hubby was with me.. I asked the nurse to call my hubby at his office to inform about my condition..

I was arrived at Hospital Serdang around noon and the doctor explained to me the situation that they have to force my labor because my blood pressure is too high even after they give me certain dose of medication. They said it was too dangerous for me and my baby to wait any longer. I asked them to do the best for my baby and me.. I was given the 1st dose of medication to expenditure my labor just after the doctor briefed me about my condition. After 2 hours, my delivery passage just opened about 3cm and my blood pressure risen drastically.. The doctor advised me to take the "epidural" before they give me the 2nd dose ( drugs to expenditure the labor ) to reduce the pain as well as to maintain my blood pressure.. I have to sign the permission paper all by myself because my hubby haven't arrived yet.

After 2 hours of the 2nd dose, the delivery passage were opened just about 6cm, far from the normal 10cm and they started to worry because I was getting weaker (my blood pressure is 200/95 )and my baby movement also lessen yet the heart beating still as strong as before. So they decided to give me the 3rd dose and after it if I still show no sign of giving birth then they will proceed with the caesarean as the last option.. All the time I prayed to God to give the baby and me the strength and I keep saying to my baby in my womb to be patient and stay with me..

Around 5.45pm, all of sudden I felt a sharp pain on my pelvis, so I called for the doctor and nurse. They rushed and checked on me and inform me to follow their instruction to push when they ask because I can't feel any pain or momentum that can signaled me to push like my past labor due to the epidural anesthetic they gave me. At that time I can barely hear them because i feel like fainting and everything around me got hazy and kinda blur but I still manage to follow their instruction and  give my all to push when they ask me.. Then, all I can remember was hearing my baby crying, the smell of blood,  the nurse voice saying " Haryati, open your eye. See you got a baby boy " and the seeing my baby face for the 1st time before I lost conscious.

When I opened my eyes again, I was still in the same room but with lots of wire attached to me and my flat stomach with panic.. Then the nurse came in with a bundle in her hand washed away all feel of insecurity in me. I asked the nurse what happened and the nurse said they almost lost me but miraculously I make it through yet they have to separate me from my baby for a day to observe my blood pressure.. Holding my baby in my arms and feeding him gave me all the strength and as always I cried and silently I thanked the almighty God for giving me chance to watch him grow up..

One & only pic I have of my 4th son - he was 2 days old

My baby was just 8 month when I gave birth of him but he was normal and okay.. He was born at 6.08pm on 7th May 2009 with 2.79kg in weight.. We spend another 2 weeks in the hospital because of my blood pressure.. Unlike his brothers and sister, he don't have G6PD.. He is such a adorable baby boy.. I don't have many picture of him taken when he was just a baby and all the pic I have of him taken by my sister in law ( thanks to them )..

I cherished all of my memories with every single of my pregnancy ( 4 kali tau ) but my last pregnancy with my prince of smiling, Eyas will be the one I remembered the most due to the difficulties and ordeal I been trough with my hubby at that time.. After I gave birth of my last baby, everything get better and better day after day.. My hubby  changed to be a better person, a better husband and most of all a wonderful father..

As for me, I thanks God for every single second he gave me in order  to watch and see my kids grow up especially my youngest son, my prince of smiling who always take away my pain and stress everytime I look into his smiling face..

Botak for the 1st time

He is photo friendly!

Smile that sparked my life

  

Eyas & me

 P/S:- Kan saya dah kata.. I can write long pages if it something about memories! 

        

Never too late

For the past few days, I have been seeking advice from much experienced people such as my own beloved mother, mom-in law and also from expert in child development beside doing my own reading and searching via the books or internet about related topics of child development and misbehave. I am really grateful and feel blessed because I have a very  understanding and helpful mother whom I can discuss my deepest concern especially  about my kids problem.

After thinking for few days about my second son changes of behavior, at last I listed down few ways to understand and tackle down the main reason behind his drastic misbehave.

Google Image

1. I am going to talk more with him to show him that I cares about his doing. My mother said, it's the best way to bonding with our kids. 
2. Listen to them instead  of asking them to shut up. Expert said that children who can speak up and express themselves freely will developed into a very confident kind of person and one way of achieve  this is by  listening to them whenever they want to tell us something. 
3. Prevent any kind of serious beating / punishment in future. Compassion and understanding worked more effectively to children than physical beating / punishment.

Thinking back, I never give heed about talking and listening to my kids before this. Ashamedly, I have to admitted that sometimes I did snapped to them to shut up whenever they started to talk more than I like them to be especially when I am tired. After listening to my mom and expert advise I feel terribly awful about my own behavior.. 

I wanna give all of my best to to this three thing 1st and I really hope that it will somehow show some positive changes in my kids attitude and behavior.. I don't want to lost faith yet because I know I can do it despite of my own weakness.. My hubby and I have discussed this matter seriously and we are both agreed that for some reason we too are guilty and we both will work together to make sure we do the above mention stuff accordingly.. If you face the same problem, I guess it's never too late to do something for better...

I always lost track of time when talking about my kids.. Well, what can I say.. They are my pride and joy and I guess all mom will say the same.

Am I totally a failure??

As I thought my day will end up as happy as I was this morning then I am totally wrong because right after my hubby fetched my kids from their nanny house, he gave me a bad, real bad news to me that almost make me faint!

My 2nd son took the money that suppose to pay his KAFA monthly fee from his brother without telling him and lost the money at his school this afternoon! This morning I entrusted my eldest son to pay their bus fare and KAFA monthly fee because I trust him and he was the one who normally help me out with the task since my hubby and I don't have much time to go to their KAFA and pay the fee by ourselves. As always, I put the money in sealed envelope and wrote their name on it. There were three envelope, one for the bus fare and the other two was for their KAFA monthly. 

I never thought that something like this will happened since my eldest son never fail to do the responsibility I gave to him yet today he forgot to pay his brother KAFA monthly fee, and he decided to pay it tomorrow but my 2nd son took the money and lost it at the school ( dia cakap la..)

My eldest son said my 2nd son asked him not to tell about it but their nanny happened to know this and she showed my hubby the torn up envelope ( without them money ) and  told what happened to  my hubby when he fetch them at her house.

I smelled something wasn't right when I saw his grim face. He locked up the door and ordered our 2 boys to go to their room while he searched for the rattan. I asked him what's wrong but no responed and I only get the hint when he started beating my 2nd son. Oh my God, I just can believed when my hubby showed the torn up envelope.. My mind went blank for a while and I am unaware that my hubby is beating my second son.. I only snapped back to reality when I heard him yelling for my help then only I grabbed both my son and asked my hubby to stop.. I was crying and pleading to him not to lost his temper! I remind him that beating them won't solve any thing..

I asked my son what happened. He admitted that he took the money without telling his brother but he said he never intended to use it.. He said he just want to keep it but one of his friend saw it and very curious what was in it.. In the end my son said, the money went missing while he went out and the only left behind was the envelope..He said he already told his teacher about it..

After chilled down, my hubby told him that he will go to his school tomorrow and asked the teacher about it to confirm that he is telling us the truth.. I really do hope that he is telling the truth..

I couldn't even enjoy my dinner because I am so distraught with this problem.. I couldn't find any reason why my son acted like this since I always trying my best to fulfill their needs.. Now I really understand how my parent felt when facing my mischief..

I couldn't even blamed my hubby since I know him very well and thing like this always  wake up his temper  yet I still mad at him for beating my son like that and I am not agreed with his way to tackle this problem.. To tell the truth, I feel like I am the one should be blamed for.. ( Sigh )

I don't know what should I do.. This is really a big blow to my confidence as a mother.. I even asked myself whether I am such failure in everything.. I sucked big time in my life and now I even feel like am totally a failure of being a mother.. I thought I already gave everything I have for my kids  but when this happened I started to question whether did I or not??

My Sister In Law Engagement Day

At last, My hubby finished updating the pics taken during my sister in law engagement day! It's not a pro movie okay but i guess it's still okay and after all it's just for fun actually. Well, for your information, Youtube disabled the audio because it is matched with 3rd party contents so maybe it will be a bit boring watching the movie without the music!

Okay, let me tell you people what I learn on that day about this majlis merisik & bertunang.. First thing I learn is the Hantaran from the woman side should be more than the Hantaran from the man's side (Sorry, I don't really know what is the word in English, so if anybody happen to know it, please do tell me..=P).. I guess all of you already know about that aren't you but ashamedly I have to admit I don't know since I never undergo this kind of event myself.. 

My sister in law choose the color pink as her theme color.. Nice because it's my favorite color too! Girly and sweet..  And the concept was more into evening tea time so all of the foods served was suitable for tea time.. My hubby and I contributes a brownies for her event.. All of my hubby siblings did contribute something for her event but I don't know what it was.. Hmmm, rahsia dorang bilang..

I also learn about what they called as setahun hidup ( mean that their engagement can be prolong until they can manage to tie it with marriage) & setahun mati ( mean that their engagement is fixed into 1 year only and they should get marry after 1 year of engagement). My sister in law engagement was set into setahun hidup.. Seriously, I never heard any of this because my marriage itself was what they called as "kahwin koboi" and we did not need to undergo this process.. Hahaha, ngam la sebab kami punya hubungan pun macam Tom & Jerry kan.. Main perang2 tu biasa suda bagi kami..

Overall, I was happy because I attended my sister in law engagement day despite of certain people appearance on that day. To tell the truth, I no longer have any harsh feeling towards them.. This kind of event are good because it gathered all of my hubby families and though I don't know them well but I am happy to get to know them..

That's all I manage to write down from my topsy-turvy mind.. Please enjoy the homemade  movie slide below and don't forget to leave any comment okay!

Childhood Memories

All of sudden, I think of my childhood memories..
I was a skinny and shy since childhood. I was a village girl, still a village woman and will always be a village person. 

Google Image

I have a very wonderful childhood memories although my family was not a wealthy family. Paddy field, jungle and even the river became my playground. Mud, dirt & wet is no big problem for a village Girl like me. In fact it just marked how wonderful life can be. As ignorant as other normal child I never give a damn about how hard my parent work to earn money just to ensure all of their kids have a proper education, a place to be called home and a proper meal.
I missed to play " kono-kono ", I missed to play football, I missed our "berkelah" time along the banks of sungai kulabut.. Gosh, so many bittersweet memory I have been through with my fellow friend back then.. I even missed the "gusti" match between our village and kampung sebelah ( Kg. Kokob ).. I wondered whether Beaty still remember the fiesty match between Amy and Noni at the bus-stop nearby En. Taipin house..
Too many memories and a few minutes won't be enough to tell everything but I will hint one or two memory now and then in my post okay..

As a child I dreamed to be a successful person in future. That time I thought everything will happened as I dreamed of and planned of. Never did once occurred to me that life itself is a challenge until I reached the age of puberty.
Most Important I never thought about :- MONEY PROBLEM
Memang best kan memories time budak2..
If I am granted with a wish, I will wish to re-live my childhood memories where I only saw the best in everything and never worry about everything..

So tell me what is your best childhood memories?